The Truly Natural Things
by ceegeeayy
Summary: Sequel to Threshold. Grace has returned, but will things go back to normal for her and Spencer and the rest of the BAU? What does the future hold for the couple and the team? Some will find things they never dared to dream of.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I own nothing except Grace. _

_Also, if you haven't read Threshold, you might want to do that before continuing._

* * *

**One forgives to the degree that one loves. - Francois de la Rochefoucauld**

"Mmmm... I missed you so much, Grace." Reid moaned as Grace traced circles on his bare chest.

Grace smiled and looked up at him. "Did you miss me or the sex?" she teased.

He looked hurt and Grace immediately felt guilty. She had hurt him enough already since she had ran away.

"I was joking, Spencer." she said. "I missed you too."

Reid smiled and kissed her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Spencer."

"Do you... Do you want to have a baby, Grace?" Reid asked.

"What?" Grace exclaimed, she was beyond shocked by his question.

Reid had not expected Grace to react like this. "You wanted to before you... before you left. Why not now?"

"Oh, Spencer, I wasn't in my right mind then, you know that." Grace said, remembering her depression and drastic mood changes. "I... I don't want kids. Not right now anyway. Besides, I know you don't either, you just think a baby will make me stay." She kissed him. "I'm not going anywhere, Spencer. I love you. That's not why I left anyway, darling."

"Then why did you leave me, Grace?" Reid whimpered.

Grace sighed. "Baby, I explained it all in the note. I had to look for something."

"Did you find it?"

"Yep." Grace smiled and kissed Reid's cheek.

"What was it?" Reid knew the answer, but he wanted to hear Grace say it anyway. It had been so long since he had heard her praise or compliment him. Not that he ever let it go to his head, it was just nice to be called something other than genius once in awhile.

"You." Grace said. "I was looking for something that was missing inside of me. I didn't know that it was right here the whole time."

Reid pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly. Without pulling away from his lips, Grace climbed on top of him, straddling his waist.

"There's something else that's missing inside me right now." Grace said seductively.

* * *

"Hey, kid," Morgan greeted Reid the next morning. "Have yourself a good birthday?"

Reid blushed and Grace swatted the side of Morgan's head.

"Karma is a real bitch, Morgan." Grace said and handed Reid a cup of heavily sugared coffee.

"So you've changed your name to Karma now, Blondie?" he laughed.

"I thought you said never mess with a woman who carries a gun, Morgan?" Reid asked.

Morgan laughed, relieved that the young genius was finally returning to his normal self.

"Reid," Hotch called, sticking his head out of his office. "Strauss wants to see you."

"Oh fuck..." Grace cursed. This could not be good. Strauss had walked in on their reunion the day before and was forced to hold her tongue by Rossi, but there was no avoiding it now.

"Good luck, kid." Morgan said.

* * *

Grace was pacing up and down the row of desks, ready to pull her hair out waiting. Reid had been with Strauss for almost half an hour now. This was not good. They were getting fired for fraternization.

Grace weighed her options. Where could she work other than the BAU? She had originally wanted to be a lawyer, but she would have to go back to school to do that. She could sell some of her paintings and live off whatever inheritance she had left. She could take Sam up on his offer, but that would mean moving to LA and leaving Spencer.

Spencer would keep his job obviously. He was extremely valuable to the FBI, there was no way they would give him up and let some other agency like the CIA or NASA snatch him, even if Strauss insisted he leave.

"You're gonna wear a hole in the floor if you keep pacing like that, Blondie." Morgan teased.

"I don't care." Grace said. "Maybe if I do it'll be something for you guys to remember me by."

"What are you talking about, Grace?"

"Strauss is gonna fire me and I'll never see any of you again." Grace exploded.

"Calm down, Blondie." Morgan said. "You're not gonna get fired. Do you know how many relationships are going on around here?"

Grace shook her head.

"Enough to make you think we were all back in high school." Morgan laughed. "Seriously, look at Garcia and Kevin, they've been together for years now and they haven't lost their jobs over it."

"They're not agents though, they're technical analysts! They don't have to worry about making impressions and representing the bureau like we do." Grace protested.

"No, but they still follow the same set of ethics that we're supposed to."

Grace sighed and saw Reid re-enter the bullpen.

"How'd it go?" she asked him.

Reid shook his head. He squeezed her hand encouragingly and told her to go see Strauss.

"Ah, Agent Ashton." Strauss greeted Grace. "Have a seat."

Grace sat down across from the intimidating woman.

"Nice to see you back at the bureau, how was your little vacation?" Strauss sneered.

"Uh... good." Grace said nervously.

"Well, enough small talk, Agent Ashton, we have things to discuss."

Grace nodded.

"You are aware that this job requires a certain amount of appropriate work ethic, Agent Ashton?" Strauss asked.

Grace nodded.

"And you are aware that to maintain that ethic, there are certain rules that must be enforced, yes?"

Grace nodded again.

"Your relationship with Dr. Reid has broken many workplace rules."

Grace nodded even though it was not a question.

_Here it comes,_ she thought, _Goodbye BAU, goodbye friends, goodbye paycheck, goodbye jet._

"Although it is against the rules here at the BAU, I am going to permit you and Dr. Reid to continue your relationship-"

"Oh, thank you Chief Strauss, thank you s-"

"I will permit you and Dr. Reid to continue you relationship as long as you act appropriately here at Quantico and while on cases. I also do not want this to affect the team if it is to end badly."

"It won't, Chief Strauss, I promise you." Grace said.

"Well, I intend to hold you to that promise." Strauss said. "Now please vacate my office."

Grace danced out of Strauss' office and into the BAU bullpen. Her smile spread from ear to ear. She ran to Spencer and wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm staying!" she said delightedly.

Spencer smiled and sighed in relief. He figured it was best not to tell Grace that he had threatened Strauss that he would quit if Grace was fired. She was about to fire her for incompetence, not fraternizing with another agent.

* * *

"Well hello there, Gorgeous Grace." Garcia greeted her friend who had just entered her office.

"Hey, listen, Pen," Grace said, approaching her nervously.

Garcia spun around in her chair to face Grace, making it even harder to choke out the words she wanted to say.

"I'm... I'm sorry I left." Grace said. "I realize now that I hurt more people than just Spencer, but will you forgive me, Pen?"

"Grace, you hurt all of us." Garcia said, uncharacteristically serious. "You left Reid the same way his father left him. Why should anyone forgive you?"

Grace was hurt. She had really expected her best friend to accept her apology.

"I came back, didn't I? I realized what I was leaving behind here. You, Spencer, and the rest of the BAU are the most important things in the world to me. How can I get you to forgive me?" Grace begged.

"Girls night." Garcia replied.

Grace laughed. "Alright, but don't you ever scare me like that again!"

* * *

"So, what does it say?" Garcia asked, staring at the fresh tattoo on Grace's left hip.

It was small, simple black script, but it was written in a language Garcia could not recognize.

"It means 'fate' in Sanskrit." Grace replied.

"Why fate?"

Grace shrugged. "I think I'm starting to realize that everything happens for a reason."

Garcia smiled. "Let's go get some drinks."

"Sound like a plan." Grace laughed.

Grace's phone began to ring inside her purse. She checked the caller ID, it was JJ.

"Looks like the drinks will have to wait, Pen." Grace sighed. "We have a case."

* * *

**A/N: Short one, very actionless, my apologies. Thanks to all who have chosen to stick with the Threshold series, it means a lot to me. **

**Just to warn you, the case in the next chapter is going to be kind of gruesome, so brace yourselves. **

**Now, I'm going to explain the title to you all. The Truly Natural Things is a reference to the Bob Dylan quote Reid says in Season 4, "I think the truly natural things are dreams, which nature can't touch with decay." I chose this as the title because even though it may not seem like it yet, in this story, Grace, Reid and several other characters are going to be experiencing some things that they never even dared to dream before and realizing things. Like when Grace was dress shopping with Macy and then daydreaming at the wedding and she mentions both times that she did not deserve the things she wanted to dream of. I'll leave it at that though because if I go further, I'll end up ruining it. **

**Anyway, thank you all so much for sticking with this story! Please don't forget to review!**

**Oh yeah! I've got two new ideas for different stories that I'm still mulling over, but I'm pretty excited over. They're both Reid/OC fics and one's based on a really messed up dream I had last night, the other's actually a Reid/OC/Morgan fic, but I haven't thought that one as far through as the other. Let me know what you think and I might find some time to start writing them! **


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing except my OCs._

**And I also know how important it is in life not necessarily to be strong but to feel strong. To measure yourself at least once. To find yourself at least once in the most ancient of human conditions. Facing the blind death stone alone, with nothing to help you but your hands and your own head. - Christopher MsCandless **

* * *

"So we actually have two cases." JJ said as the BAU filed into the conference room.

"Two?" Grace repeated. "How can we be two places at once?"

"We can't." Hotch said. "That's why we're splitting up. Prentiss, Reid, JJ and I will be staying here to find an abducted child. Rossi, Morgan, and Ash, you'll be going to Missouri. Hikers have reported, well... just look at it."

They all directed their attention to the images on the screen. Bodies hanging from trees, their eyes open, staring down at whoever was unfortunate enough to walk beneath them.

"Holy shit that is creepy!" Grace exclaimed.

"Wheels up in thirty."

* * *

"OK, so I understand why Hotch would send you two on this case, but why me?" Grace wondered out loud on the jet.

"Well, you're more well-equipped for the wilderness than Reid and Prentiss." Morgan said.

The trio would not be staying in luxurious hotels as usual on this case. The local sheriff believed that the unsub was somewhere in the woods and the best way to find him was to camp out. That way they would become familiar with the unsub's territory and wouldn't have to waste time drive and then hiking to the crime scenes.

"They've got limited time to find that baby back in Virginia anyway." Rossi added. "Reid thinks faster than any of us. Plus, can you really see him surviving out here without coffee?"

"He could, but we'd have to hear a bunch of facts from wilderness survival guides." Grace laughed.

She wouldn't admit it in front of the guys, but she wished that Reid was there with her, or she with him back in Virginia. After being apart for two months, they had to separate again and Grace was afraid Reid might not be able to handle it. She was afraid that she herself could not handle it. She had packed his Caltech sweater in her go bag. Miraculously, it still smelled like him, even after the months she had lived in it.

Grace and Reid had exchanged a very short goodbye before she left, but she could see in his eyes that she wouldn't be coming back. She had kissed him and assured him she would be back as soon as they caught their unsub, but she knew as she boarded the jet that he was not convinced.

"So, are we gonna bother going over this case before we land?" Grace asked.

"Yeah, sure." Morgan replied.

Grace got out of her seat and moved closer to the men.

"Hikers have been finding bodies hanging in trees for two weeks now. So far they've counted fourteen bodies. We don't have a full report from the M.E. Yet, but as you can see from the pictures, they weren't stabbed or shot."

* * *

"Fuck!" Grace cursed, letting the tent collapse.

Morgan laughed at her. "How you makin' out there, Blondie?"

"Not so good." she said. "What did the local PD tell you?"

Morgan had just used their satellite phone to contact the local police to find out more about the case.

"Well, the M.E. says that all fourteen vics died of asphyxiation." Morgan replied.

"Asphyxiation?" Grace repeated. "How do you suffocate in the great outdoors?"

"That's what we're here to find out." Rossi said.

Grace sighed. "Well, I'm done with this tent. You big, strong men wanna take over while I try to construct the world's shittiest geographic profile?"

Morgan and Rossi agreed to assemble their tent while Grace dug a map from one of their bags. She spread the map out on the forest floor which was damp and covered in years worth of dead foliage. She began to mark the map with a series of different coloured pens, indicating the different locations of the bodies.

"How's it going, Ash?" Rossi asked.

"Good, I think." she replied, looking up from the map. "I'm nowhere near as good as Spencer though."

Morgan laughed. "You got that right. The map's upside down."

Grace screamed a long string of curses and kicked the map.

"Calm down, Blondie." Morgan said.

"I suck." Grace sighed.

"This might be a good way to go about this actually." Rossi said. "From what the sheriff told us, the victims were all hiking without maps or any kind of guide."

"So we're gonna catch the unsub by being in the same situation as them?" Grace said. "Isn't that kind of dangerous?"

"Says the girl who ran away and didn't tell anyone where she was going." Morgan said.

Grace punched him in the chest.

"Hey, play nice children." Rossi laughed. "And it won't be as dangerous, Ash. We have guns, a GPS and a satellite phone."

"Speaking of satellite phone," Grace said. "Where is it? I want to call Spencer before I turn in for the night."

Rossi handed her the satellite phone and she wandered off to call Spencer. She went far enough that the men couldn't hear her, but stayed within sight.

"Reid." she heard Spencer answer the phone.

"Hey handsome." Grace said in her most seductive voice.

She heard him sigh. "You have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice."

"Aww... I'd offer you some phone sex, but I'm not sure how long I can hold on to this signal."

"That's alright," Reid said. "I can't really think about that right now."

"That bad, huh?"

"We're running out of time to find her."

"Spencer, you're a genius and you're amazing, you'll find her." Grace assured him.

"I hope so." Reid sighed. "How's the camping?"

"Well, I've successfully failed at putting up a tent and I destroyed our only map." Grace said. "But I've got Morgan and Rossi to curl up next to tonight, so it's all good."

"I'm not worried, they both snore, you'll be up all night."

"So do you."

"I do not snore!" Reid protested.

"Oh yes you do." Grace teased. "It's kind of cute actually."

"How's the case going?" Reid asked.

"Oh, I wanted to ask you about that." Grace said. "How can you asphyxiate someone out in the woods?"

"Well, the unsub could be gassing them."

"How? Everything is wide open here."

"Did he choke them?" Reid asked.

"No marks." Grace replied.

"What about poisoning?"

"I'll call the M.E. in the morning and ask for the toxicology results." Grace said. "Thank you, darling. I love you."

"I love you too, Grace." Reid said. "Please be safe and please, _please_ come home to me."

"Don't worry, Spencer. I'm coming home, I promise."

* * *

Grace awoke in the middle of the night. At first she was confused as to what had awoken her. Morgan and Rossi jolted from their slumbers as well. That's when Grace realized that someone was clawing at the tent, _multiple_ someones.

"What the fuck is going on?" Grace whispered, terrified.

Morgan and Rossi grabbed their guns and ran out of the tent. Grace stayed inside her sleeping bag, paralysed in fear. She cringed when she heard a gunshot and Morgan curse.

"Whoever it was got away." he said, re-entering the tent.

"Is it the unsub?" Grace asked.

"No idea." Rossi said.

"Should someone maybe keep watch?" Morgan asked.

"I doubt they'll come back if they know we have guns." Rossi said, getting back in his sleeping bag and falling asleep.

Morgan did the same, but Grace sat upright, her fingers gripping her gun tightly, shaking, her eyes wide open.

"What's wrong, Blondie?" Morgan asked.

Grace ignored him and continued to stare at the door of the tent.

"Forget how tough this job can be?"

"I wish Spencer was here." Grace said distantly.

"I don't think you have the right to say that anymore." Morgan said.

Grace turned to him, a firm grip still on her gun. "Who do you think you are?"

"Someone who had to watch his best friend suffer while his girlfriend ran away for two months." Morgan hissed back.

"I came back, didn't I?"

"Oh, and that makes everything better?" Morgan spat. "You think you can just walk out of our lives then expect complete forgiveness when you come back? You expect us to act like nothing happened?"

"No, but I'd like to be forgiven." Grace said. "I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I was trying to protect you guys from me. You didn't need to see me sick like I was."

"Sick?"

"Depressed, whatever it was." Grace said. "I wasn't right in the head. I was a risk on the job and I was embarrassed. I was afraid I'd just be a burden on all of you."

"Grace, we're a family at the BAU." Morgan said.

"I don't really feel like I am." Grace mumbled.

"You are, Blondie. You just need to trust us more." Morgan said, rolling over and falling asleep.

* * *

Grace awoke the next morning, having achieved little sleep. She had stayed awake until the sun had begun to rise and she finally felt safe enough to sleep.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Derek teased as Grace rubbed her eyes.

"I need coffee..." she groaned.

"Reid's really rubbed off on you, hasn't he?" Rossi laughed.

Grace was shocked at what she had said. She would never have asked for coffee before. Maybe it wasn't the caffeine she wanted, but something to remind her of Spencer.

"Ugh... let's get this show on the road." she said, standing up and stretching.

When Grace exited the tent, she noticed that Morgan was attempting to cook breakfast over a small fire. She laughed at him and grabbed a banana from her backpack.

Rossi walked away from the younger agents and made a call on the satellite phone. Grace teased Morgan and his attempts to cook.

"Toxicology reports say all the victims ingested Aconite." Rossi said.

"Aconite?" Grace repeated. "What the hell is Aconite and where do you get it?"

"I think we could use a genius right about now." Morgan said.

* * *

Around mid-afternoon, the mini-team of profilers was moving through the forest to their next camp site. Grace, carrying the lightest pack skipped ahead of them, laughing and singing whatever random playlist was repeating itself in her head.

"What do you think her problem is?" Morgan asked Rossi.

Rossi raised an eyebrow. "I thought you liked Ash."

"I do, but there's something wrong with her and I'd like to know what it is before it puts her or any of us in danger." Morgan explained himself.

"Well, what do you think is wrong with her?" Rossi pressed.

"Come on, you must see it, we all do, we're profilers. Her crazy mood swings, the way she over-reacts to everything, she clings to Reid like she's a child, but then she can turn around and hurt him as if it's nothing. Look at her now! She's singing and skipping in the unsub's hunting grounds! According to Garcia, Ash actually tries to do Reid while we're on a case. She laughs on the jet, she watches movies about the sick shit we deal with, she invited us to a zombie movie marathon, Rossi! How can she live like that after seeing what she sees in this job?"

"Is there something wrong with living?" Rossi asked. "We all cope in different ways."

"Is it coping though?"

"OK, tell me how you cope, Morgan?"

"I jog with Clooney and I listen to music." Morgan replied.

"How is that any different from what Ash does?"

"I cope after a case, not during."

Rossi sighed. "Alright, I admit it, Ash is kind of off, but I think she's fully capable of this job. She's just young. She still feels like there's hope in the world. Why would you want to take that away from her?"

"I don't." Morgan said. "But there's always one case that changes us forever, the case that finally hardens us against the world and numbs us against hope. I'm afraid that if she keeps acting like this, that case that breaks her, will break her forever."

"Morgan, I-"

Their conversation came to an end when they heard Grace scream in terror. They ran forward and found her on her knees, staring up at the trees. Three bodies hung from them like morbid Christmas ornaments.

* * *

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Morgan asked Grace for what she felt to be the millionth time in less than twenty-four hours.

After finding the bodies of the unsub's latest victims, Grace had gone catatonic. The next morning though, she was up before the men and eager to continue their so far unsuccessful trek.

"Yes, I'm totally fine, Morgan!" Grace exclaimed. "Can we please just keep going. We've got nothing on this bastard and I'd like to have a profile before the sun goes down."

The mysterious visitor or perhaps visitor_s_ had returned to pester them again the previous night. They took shifts on watch, but none of them had been able to identify the lurker or even tell if there was more than one. One of their packs had been stolen though. They lost half their food and the tent.

* * *

"Here Blondie, I picked you a flower." Morgan laughed.

Grace turned around, laughing, about to accept the flower. She stopped laughing when she saw the flower he was holding.

"Morgan, drop that thing right now!" she screamed.

"Why?"

"Just do it!" Grace ordered.

Morgan rolled his eyes and obliged. Grace reached into her pack and took out a bottle of hand sanitizer. She squirted half the bottle onto Morgan's hands, but kept her distance.

"What's this for, Blondie?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, are you alright?" Rossi asked.

"I'm fine, but Morgan could die if he doesn't get that stuff off of him!" Grace said frantically.

"What?" Morgan demanded.

"Why?" Rossi asked.

"That flower was Monkshood, it's extremely poisonous."

Morgan stopped scrubbing his hands for a moment. "Poisonous?"

"What kind of poison?" Rossi asked.

"It's an alkaloid... it's... it's called Aconite." Grace said.

"Like the poison used to kill the victims?"

Grace gulped nervously and nodded.

* * *

**A/N: Finally, I've updated! **

**I really don't have much to say except that I'm losing my faith in this story. I'm gonna stick to it though just because I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't give you guys the ending of Reid and Grace's story. **

**I'm just too into Gaze Back Into You right now. I guess it never occured to me that this would happen when I decided to write two chapters at once. **

**Well, a beloved character resurfaces in Things in the next couple chapters, so maybe that will get me back into it. I sure hope so. **

**Also, I'm watching the CM marathon on A&E right now and I just saw Reid go up to Gideon's cabin and read the letter and I finally cried over what I made Grace do to him. Poor Spencer.**

**Anyway, please don't forget to review and check out Gaze Back Into You if you haven't done so already!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. I do own Grace though._

**A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars. - Carly Simon**

**Children show scars like medals. Lovers use them as secrets to reveal. A scar is what happens when the word is made flesh. - Leonard Cohen**

* * *

"So this is what the unsub has been using to poison his victims?" Rossi asked. "This little flower?"

"I would assume so." Grace replied, watching nervously as Morgan continued to scrub the Monkshood off of his hands. The chemical smell of the sanitizer overwhelmed Grace, she could feel her brain cells dying as she inhaled, a little more enthusiastically than your average person. "I'm so _stupid_!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't I think of this before?"

"Hey, chill out, Blondie." Morgan said, feeling he had successfully cleaned his hands of the fatal flower. "You couldn't have seen this coming."

"Yes! Yes, I could have!" Grace protested, pulling her hair.

Rossi and Morgan exchanged a look. Grace was beginning to scare them.

"Aconitum columbianum." Grace said. "Extremely poisonous, often fatal."

"Ash, calm down." Rossi said.

"Yeah, you sound like Reid." Morgan laughed. "Did you memorize a book of wild flowers or something?"

Grace shook her head. "No, my mother..." She hesitated. She really had no desire to speak of her mother. No one at the BAU except Spencer knew that her mother had kicked her out when she was only thirteen. No one else knew the abuse her mother had inflicted on her in her childhood. No one, not even Reid knew that sometimes she still heard her mother's voice in her head, repeating the horrible things she used to say. "My mother used to grow Monkshood. She used to grow _everything_." Grace recalled one of the few good things she remembered about her mother, her love of gardening. "She taught me all the Latin names and told me everything about them. Monkshood was her favourite though."

"It's still not your fault." Morgan said. "But you should keep an eye out for anymore dangerous plants while we're out here."

Grace nodded, but they could tell her mind was far away. They continued onward into the forest, Rossi and Morgan keeping a close eye on Grace. Soon the sun began to set and they found themselves wondering what they would do for shelter tonight, considering their tent had been taken.

"Why don't we just call the sheriff on the satellite phone and have him send us a tent?" Morgan suggested.

Grace laughed. "Poor baby, can't handle sleeping on the ground." she teased.

"That tent was the only thing that stood between us and the unsub the last few nights." Morgan said.

Grace shrugged. "And you've never came face-to-face with an unsub before, tough guy?"

"We usually have a profile when that happens." Morgan said.

The trio all fell silent for a moment. It was true, a strong profile was their best weapon against the sickos they chased, but this time all they had been able to determine was how the unsub killed his victims, and any one who could put two and two together could have figured that out.

"Fine, I'll build us a lean-to." Grace sighed and set about collecting tree branches.

"How is it you know the things you know?" Morgan asked, approaching Grace after he had built a satisfactory bonfire.

Grace shrugged. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's like you have the ability to be as smart as Reid, but instead of knowing how long it would take to build the Deathstar, you know every species of poisonous plant, how to build a shelter in the wilderness, and how to kick somebody's ass. Plus you can tell a whole lot about an unsub without even building a psychological profile."

Grace chuckled, tying off a piece of the shelter. "So, you're asking why I know random, but useful information instead of chemistry and biology and physics?"

Morgan nodded.

"Spencer's brain is wired differently than mine. I'm wired for survival. All my life had been a series of events that I've had to rely on my knowledge or my physical ability to get out of. Why should I know about physics when it'll probably never save me from death?"

"But, why did you bother learning survival skills in the first place? You've never been lost in the woods for days, have you?" Morgan asked.

"Well, I used to hunt with my father and he wasn't one for the comforts of modern technology." Grace said. "That and I anticipate the worst. Honestly, when I'm not thinking about work, I'm usually thinking about everything that could possibly ever go wrong in my life and how I can deal with it."

"Why?"

Grace shrugged again. "Like I said, I've been trying to survive all my life."

"I think life's about living, not surviving." Morgan said.

"True," Grace admitted. "But have you spent your entire life fighting against the people who tried to bring you down?"

"I was a poor black kid in Chicago, don't say I don't know what it's like to have to fight for what you want."

"I wasn't saying you didn't know," Grace said. "But you probably had a family that loved and supported you. My mother told me everyday since I can remember that I was a worthless piece of shit that she regretted ever giving birth to. Try fighting that voice inside your head every day of your life, Derek." and with that, Grace stormed off into the darkness.

"What did you say to her?" Rossi asked, approaching Morgan.

"I... I didn't mean to..." Morgan said. "I didn't know..."

Rossi just nodded, understanding what Morgan meant. It was hard to talk to Grace without setting her off. She would come back when she had cooled off though and it would be as if nothing had ever happened. The two men sat by the fire, trying to cook whatever provisions they had left and discussing the case.

"Holy shit!" Grace called through the darkness about an hour later. "You guys have to come check this out!"

"What is it?" Rossi asked.

"Only the scariest thing I think I've ever seen." Grace replied. "Just get your guns and follow me!"

Morgan and Rossi did as they were told. They walked behind Grace, shining flashlights through the darkness. After about fifteen minutes, they stopped dead in their tracks.

"Oh dear God..." Grace gasped, looking up in the trees.

There were three more bodies hanging from them.

"These weren't here a few minutes ago..."

Rossi called the sheriff on the satellite phone and informed him of the new bodies. The trio then continued on through the woods to the place Grace had been talking about. Amidst a large clearing filled with Monkshood, was a dilapidated house that gave Grace shivers up her spine.

"You think this is where the unsub it?" Morgan asked.

"Well, we profiled that he would know the area well and the house is surrounded by his choice of poison." Grace shrugged.

"He's following them, driving them mad until they find this place and think they're safe." Rossi speculated.

"Are we going in?" Morgan asked.

"Well, all we have are suspicions." Rossi replied.

"There could be more victims in the house though!" Grace insisted.

"Ash, we're not above the law." Rossi said.

"I know, but this isn't even legal!" Grace said. "This is a dwelling on state land."

"She's got a point, Rossi." Morgan said.

Rossi sighed and called the local sheriff for back-up. The sheriff agreed to wait outside of the house when he and his deputies were done with the recent bodies. Careful as to not touch any of the deadly flowers, Rossi, Morgan and Grace made their way to the front door.

"Do we knock?" Grace asked hesitantly.

"Guess so." Rossi replied.

"Wait, wouldn't it work better if we pretended to be victims?" Morgan asked.

"Good point." Grace said. "Hide your guns."

She tapped on the door three times and was answered promptly by an old woman. Grace exchanged a shocked look with Morgan and Rossi.

"Hello there," the woman said. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, we're... we're lost." Morgan said.

"Oh, well come in and I'll see what I can do for you." the woman invited them.

The agents followed her into the kitchen and sat at the table. The room was in a state of disrepair and smelled of rotting wood. There was no electricity and no running water, giving the house an eerie, ancient feeling. Whatever evil took place in this building had been going on longer than the agents cared to think about.

The old woman went to a vat that was boiling water in the fireplace. She put the steaming water in a tea pot and took it to the counter and began to stir in a powder that looked to be tea, but Grace knew better by the scent of the mixture. As the agents sat at the table, she shot Morgan and Rossi warning looks before the old woman turned around and served them their tea.

The profilers avoided their beverages and considered the possibility that the old woman could be the unsub. Sure she was poisoning the victims by putting Monkshood in the tea she served to lost and confused hikers, but how had the frail thing climbed the trees to hand the bodies and how had she managed to torment the agents every night so far and still have time to take other victims?

Thankfully, the old woman answered their questions for them when she said, "I'll have the boys guide you out of the forest when they get home. They're just out seeing off some friends right now."

Multiple unsubs. A family of sick, delusional killers.

"Thank you for the tea, ma'am," Grace said, quickly thinking of a way to get out of her sight to call the sheriff on the satellite phone, "But I'm not feeling all that well. Could I maybe lay down in your guest room until they get here?"

"No, I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to do that, my dear." the old woman replied.

"Oh, but I think I'm going to be sick." Grace said, getting out of her chair and starting down the hallway.

"No!" the old woman screeched, lunging at Grace.

The small, feeble woman latched onto Grace and dug her long, sharp, yellow fingernails into her skin. Grace screamed in pain and Morgan and Rossi drew their guns. Suddenly, the front door flew open and three large, unshaven men in overalls entered the house.

"Let her go!" Morgan shouted at the woman.

Grace's assailant ignored him. She was now muttering nonsense, spitting on and clawing at Grace.

"Let her go or I'll shoot!" Morgan persisted.

The old woman sunk her teeth into Grace's shoulder. The three men at the door turned to run outside, but were stopped by the sheriff and four of his deputies.

* * *

"Hey, how's the bite?" Morgan asked Grace, leaning against the door frame of her hospital room.

"Well, we'll have to wait til the full moon to see, now won't we?" Grace laughed.

Morgan chuckled and went to sit down in the chair beside the bed.

"It's infected." Grace said. "The doc wants me to stick around for a day or two. He thinks I'm too tired to heal. I've got to get home though, Spencer's probably devastated that I missed Halloween."

"I'll see what I can do." Morgan said. "It would help if the doctor was a woman though."

Grace laughed.

"You did good out there, Blondie." Morgan said, changing the subject. "I'm sorry I said the things I said."

Grace shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Derek."

"I didn't know about your mother." he confessed.

"It's no big deal, Derek." Grace assured him. "I don't talk about it. Spencer doesn't even know the full story."

"Well, I want you to know that you don't need her. The BAU is your family."

Grace smiled. "Why do you think I came back?"

* * *

"Spencer!" Grace cried, running across the tarmac the next evening.

Reid wrapped his arms tightly around her waist when she reached him.

"Grace." he sighed, sounding relieved.

"Told you I'd come back." Grace grinned before kissing him roughly and longingly on the lips.

"You're not in one piece though." Reid said, placing a hand on Grace's bandaged shoulder.

"Well, that psycho old lady's probably already digested that piece of me by now." Grace laughed. "Think you can live without it?"

"I guess so." Reid sighed, putting his arm around Grace's shoulders. He kissed the top of her head gently and lead her to the car.

"Sorry I missed Halloween." Grace said as the drove home.

"We could always celebrate tonight." Reid said.

* * *

Grace yawned and let her heavy eyelids close somewhere near the end of their sixth zombie flick and after a nearly lethal dose of candy. She laid her head on Reid's chest and listened to his heart beat faster.

"Think this nasty green bite looks zombie-ish, Doc?" she asked, half asleep.

"I don't think you're infected, sweetheart."

"Damn." Grace mumbled. "I bet that big old brain of yours would be delicious."

"Come on, Grace, let's go to bed." Reid said.

Grace shook her head. "I still have to show you my costume!" she protested. "Trick or treat?"

Reid smiled at the tired blonde in his arms. "Not tonight. Time to sleep, crazy girl."

* * *

**A/N: My apologies for taking so long. Stress and sickness and drama as mentioned in the newest chapter of Gaze Back Into You.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this and got a little bit more insight into Grace's problems. Sorry for the lack of Spencer in this chapter. I think the re-union and zombie movie marathon bit was kind of cute though.**

**So, reviews please? It would make my day... or night... not exactly sure what you'd call this time of day.**


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OCs._

**Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. - Robert Frost**

* * *

"Gracie!" Garcia squealed, smothering her friend in a hug when she entered the BAU on Monday. "You're alive!"

"Not for much longer if you don't let me breathe." Grace laughed.

Garcia laughed and released her. "Let me see this bite of yours." she said.

Grace pulled down the sleeve of her shirt to reveal her bandages which she pulled back, uncovering a sickly shade of green.

"It's infected?"

Grace nodded. "Yeah, that old bitch had like never brushed her teeth."

"It looks like a zombie bite actually." Garcia remarked.

"Yeah, I know." Grace said. "Sweet, eh?"

Garcia laughed. "For sure, gorgeous. Oh, speaking of gorgeous, has Reid seen your new tattoo?"

Grace blushed. "He finally found it last night. He doesn't know what it means though and I'm making him figure it out on his own."

"And he hasn't gotten it yet?" Garcia asked, surprised.

"Contrary to popular belief, the boy does not know _everything_. Especially Sanskrit." Grace laughed. "Anyway, as much as I would love to spend the rest of my day with you, there's a pile of paperwork waiting for me on my desk."

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot you had a case."

"Yeah, it sucked not being able to call the Oracle every half hour to humbly request her powers."

"And it sucked not having my Chocolate Thunder calling me constantly." Garcia sighed.

"What about me?" Grace pouted, jokingly.

"And of course you." Garcia said. "How did the case turn out anyway?"

"Well, I doubt we'll ever be going back to Missouri." Grace replied.

"Why's that?"

"After I got bit, Rossi freaked out at the sheriff." Grace explained. "He said that they only called the BAU in because their detectives were too chicken shit to go into the woods and that he refused to sacrifice an agent's life for their lazy asses ever again. Except, he said it with a lot of curse words even I wouldn't use."

"Wow." Garcia said.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Grace said. "Anyway, I really have to get my work done. See ya!"

Grace went to her desk and sighed when she saw the pile of paperwork that awaited her.

"Hey, Spencer?" she said.

"Hmm?" he said, not looking up from whatever he was working on at his desk.

"Nevermind." Grace sighed.

She scanned the room for something she could do instead of her paperwork. Two months of living entirely on impulse had not helped her already terrible capacity for concentration. Emily was also lost in her work and Derek was nowhere to be seen. JJ's door was closed and Grace could see a massive stack of case files on her desk. She looked at Hotch's open door and laughed to herself at the idea of going to spend some quality time with her boss. Dave's door was open though, so Grace shrugged and went to pay him a visit.

"Working hard or hardly working?" Grace couldn't help but laugh as she leaned on the door frame of Rossi's office.

"Well, now that you're here, I guess I'm hardly working." Dave said, motioning for her to sit in the chair across from his desk.

"I wanted to thank you." Grace said, biting her lip.

Dave raised an eyebrow.

"For telling off the sheriff in Missouri, for standing up for me and not being all weird about me being back." Grace continued.

"Don't mention it." Dave said. "You know, it took awhile for me to get used to the whole 'team' thing."

"But now you think of them as your family." Grace said, rolling her eyes.

"They'll accept you again eventually. Just give it time, trust is earned, not gained."

Grace laughed. "Do you know how old you sound?"

"Hopefully not as old as you make me feel." Dave laughed.

"You know," Grace said. "I haven't been hunting in a really long time."

"How's next Saturday sound?"

"Great." Grace smiled. "See you then!"

She skipped back to her desk and sat down. She took a deep breath and began on her paperwork. After a while, Spencer began to click the pen he was holding. At first it set a nice, steady rhythm for Grace to complete her work, but eventually it became overwhelmingly annoying. It was as if the sound was drilling deep into her brain, forcing her to dig her nails into the edge of her desk. Grace could feel her emotions beginning to spiral out of control so she dug in her purse for her prescription. All should found was an empty pill bottle, the prescription expired.

"Would you fucking stop it?" she snapped, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Sorry." Reid said.

Grace got up and ran out of the office. Reid got up to follow her, seeing Morgan roll his eyes as he did so. He found Grace locked in her car in the parking lot.

"Grace," Reid said, tapping gently on the window. "Sweetheart, open the door."

Grace sniffled and shook her head.

"Open it, please?" Reid begged her.

Grace sighed and unlocked the door. Spencer ducked his head down into the car and wrapped his arms around her.

"Grace, what's wrong?" he asked, rubbing her back. "Have you been taking your pills?"

Grace shook her head. "No, I ran out. This is why I never wanted to take anti-depressants, Spencer. I don't want to have to take them just to feel normal, it's like being addicted all over again."

Reid sat down and pulled Grace onto his lap. "You feel better when you take them though, right? You don't freak out as much and you're not always depressed."

"Yeah, heroin does the same thing for me though."

Reid sighed. "Do you think you'll be alright until your next appointment with Dr. Browning?"

Grace shook her head. "I'm not seeing him anymore."

"What?" Reid exclaimed, letting go of Grace.

"He was a jerk." Grace pouted. "He just wanted to blame all my problems on you."

Reid wrapped his arms around her again and let her sob on his shoulder.

"Shh... Sweetheart, we'll find you a new therapist, we'll get through this." Reid assured Grace and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Grace."

Grace looked up from Spencer's shoulder and kissed his cheek. "I love you too, Spencer."

* * *

"Hey, Grace," Spencer said, standing beside their bed. He took Grace's hand in his and played with her fingers until she opened her eyes which were usually bright green, but today were dark and glazed over.

Grace did not say anything. She tightened her grip on her pillow and stared at the wall.

"Are you coming to work today, sweetheart?" Reid asked.

Grace shook her head. Two days without her anti-depressants and she still could not force herself to get out of bed.

Reid sighed. "Alright. I'll call to check on you later."

Grace simply nodded and continued to stare past him. Reid bent down and kissed her lightly on the cheek before leaving.

After staring blankly at the wall for awhile, Grace got out of bed and got herself a glass of water. She enjoyed the darkness and complete silence of the apartment. Actually, it wasn't silent, Grace remembered from some science class in high school that the average house was always buzzing with about sixty hertz of energy. The buzzing was quite calming though. She finished her water and went back to bed.

Grace was jolted from her sleep by the ringing of the telephone about two hours later. Presuming that it was Spencer calling to check on her as promised, she did not bother to check the caller ID.

"Yes Spencer, I'm still alive." she sighed into the receiver.

There was a laugh on the other end of the line. "I'm not Spencer, but I'm glad to hear you're still breathing." a familiar male voice said.

"Sam!" Grace exclaimed happily.

"How you doing?" Sam asked. "I haven't heard from you since you ran away on me."

"I've been working, Sam." Grace replied. "I got bit by some crazy bitch in Missouri last week."

"Well, you should come work for me." Sam said. "I can promise you that you won't get bit by any crazy bitches."

"Sam, that's the reason I ran away from you at the club. I don't want to sing again." Grace said. "At least not professionally."

"Come on, Dahl, it's not like work." Sam pleaded. "It'll be fun, like the garage days, except in a kickass studio."

"Sam, don't you dare call me by my stage name ever again!" Grace said firmly. "Dahlia Destruction died the day I went into detox."

"You still have the wig, don't you?"

"No." Grace said, lying about the wig that she kept hidden in the back of the guest room closet. "Sam, I really just want to put all that behind me."

"It's part of who you are, Grace." Sam said.

"Sam, please."

"Just give it another shot, Grace." Sam begged. "You were so great. You could be famous by now, but you gave it up."

"I had to give it up to get clean, Sam!" Grace yelled into the phone. "You know I couldn't go onstage without shooting up. I'd be dead if I hadn't quit, Sam!"

"You don't have to go onstage." Sam insisted. "Please, just record a demo with me then we'll see how it goes."

"What is this about, Sam?" Grace asked. "Why do you want to sign me so bad now?"

"I want to sign you before someone else does." Sam replied.

"I'm an FBI agent, Sam, no one, I repeat, _no one_ is trying to sign me except you!"

Sam sighed. "Would you at least think about it?"

"I might." Grace said. "Goodbye, Sam."

Grace hung up and got out of bed. She went into her closet and changed into a pair of grey sweats and a white tank top and put on one of Spencer's sweaters. She made a cup of hot chocolate and stared out the window at the pouring rain. She hated this part of fall. The leaves were all dead and had fallen to the ground, now the rain seemed endless and turned the ground into her expensive leather boots' biggest enemy. She sighed and pulled all the curtains shut in an attempt to ignore the miserable weather. She put on a Sufjan Stevens record and went to the guest room/studio where she pulled a blank canvas from the closet.

* * *

Spencer Reid sighed as he parked his car in the driveway. Despite the downpour, he walked slowly to the garage and almost thought twice about ascending the stairs to the apartment. Grace's bad moods always made him sad. He hated to see her like that, it reminded him of his mother descending into schizophrenia.

He heard the music before he even reached the top of the stairs. This was a good sign, it meant Grace had at least gotten out of bed. When he opened the door, he recognized the song as one of the upbeat, bass pumping songs Grace listened to when she was either getting up in the morning or preparing for a night of partying. Reid knew that these were not her favourite songs, they lacked the deep, thoughtful lyrics she liked, but she often used this kind of music to put herself in a better mood.

"Grace?" Reid called. "Sweetheart?"

"In here!" she replied cheerfully from the bathroom.

Spencer found Grace dressed in a tight emerald green dress, applying black mascara to her eyelashes.

"Hey handsome." Grace greeted him, looking away from the mirror for a moment to kiss him.

Reid blushed. "What's the occasion?" he asked.

Grace shrugged. "We haven't went out in a while."

Reid went closer to her and she put down her make-up and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Wh-what do you mean?" Reid asked as Grace ran her fingers through his long brown hair.

Grace smiled and kissed him again. "I'm asking you on a date, Spencer."

"Oh, OK." he blushed. "Where do you want to go?"

Grace shrugged. "Anywhere."

"Well, there's an eighties retrospective at the cinema tonight." Reid said. "If we hurry, we can catch Dirty Dancing."

"You know me too well, Spencer." Grace laughed.

"Oh, here, I forgot." Reid said, reaching into his coat pocket and extracting a plain white envelope. "This came to your desk today."

Grace looked at the envelope, her work address was written sloppily in blue ink and there was no return address.

"It'll have to wait til we get home." she said, setting it on the bathroom counter. "I refuse to miss one second of Patrick Swayze's sexy dance moves for _anything._"

* * *

**A/N: Goodbye writer's block! Yay! That last case was like physically draining for me to write. I had originally wanted it to be like The Blair Witch Project since it was Halloween in the story, but it kind of took a slightly different direction and I realized a bunch of stuff I want to change after I had already published the first half, but I used it as a way to make Grace and Dave get closer because I have plans for them in the future. **

**So, I almost gave up writing this weekend. My life has been pretty stressful this year because of graduation and family and illness and a whole bunch of other stuff, but when I found back in November and began to write Threshold in December, I was thrilled to have an escape from my life. Now things are getting more stressful and instead of writing for myself, I feel like this is like a job, something demanding that I have to do. A lot is demanded of me in my personal and professional life, I don't like feeling like things are expected of me here. So I really don't like feeling like I _have_ to update, I want to feel like my readers _want_ me to update. I mean, reviews like "Awesome, please update soon! :)" are fine, but being bugged to after just posting an author's note about going through a really stressful situation kind of irks me. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, please don't expect or demand things of me, the whole reason I write is to escape this. I got a book of Ray Bradbury's short stories this weekend and in his foreward, he says that he writes because he feels the obligation to himself, that these stories _have_ to come out, onto paper. That's how I felt when I began the Threshold series and then Gaze Back Into You. So I'm going to continue writing just because I feel that these stories have to come out of me. Anyway, I doubt anyone even reads my notes so I'll shut up now.**

**Please don't forget to review! I'd really appreciate it.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing except my OCs. Not CM, not Dirty Dancing, not Wuthering Heights, none of it. If I owned any of those things, I probably would not be writing fanfiction._

**Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. -C.S. Lewis**

* * *

"Spencer, it's not morbid!" Grace laughed as they stumbled into the apartment after their date.

"You find dead guys attractive, that's practically the definition of morbid." Reid insisted, kicking his shoes off.

Grace sighed. "I don't find Patrick Swayze attractive because he's dead, _that _would be necrophilia. I find the living, breathing Patrick Swayze in his movies attractive."

"What about Kurt Cobain?"

Grace rolled her eyes. "I don't just find him attractive, there's part of his music and his art that speaks to my soul. I love him. There's nothing wrong with loving a dead person, look at Heathcliff!"

"You hate Wuthering Heights. Not to mention, loving Catherine even after her death was part of Heathcliff's downfall."

"That sick bastard was doomed from the start." Grace said. "But I'd still love you if you died."

"No, you'd love the memory of me." Reid said.

Grace looked hurt. "Spencer, can we not talk about this?"

"But it's true, you wouldn't physically-"

"One more word out of you and you'll never have sex again." Grace threatened.

Reid shut up and pouted. He pulled Grace to him by her hips. Grace leaned in to kiss him, but pulled away at the last second. She laughed as she ran down the hallway to their bedroom. Reid shook his head and followed her.

Grace was sitting on the bed, waiting for him when he entered the room. He went to her and shyly sat beside her. Grace laughed and sat in his lap, facing him.

"I uh... I like this dress on you." Reid said nervously as Grace played with his hair.

She smiled. "Thanks. I don't like these clothes on you though."

Reid looked hurt. "Y-you don't?"

"No," Grace laughed. "Take them off."

Spencer just laughed at the crazy blonde in his arms and let her unbutton his shirt.

* * *

The next morning, Spencer yawned and rolled over in bed. He moved his arm without opening his eyes to wrap it around Grace where she usually lay beside him, but his heart skipped a beat when he realized she was not there. She had left him again. He was about to cry when the sweet aroma of coffee filled him nostrils.

"Hey, wake up, baby." Grace greeted him.

Spencer sighed in relief. "What are you doing up so early?" he asked.

Grace shrugged. "I dunno. I was just laying awake, thinking about how beautiful you look then I decided that you deserved to wake up to a cup of coffee, so I got up and made you some."

"Deserved?"

"For last night," Grace said, sitting down and handing Reid the mug of coffee. She rubbed his back. "For putting up with such a crazy girlfriend," she continued, "For being such an amazing boyfriend, for forgiving me..." Grace jumped off the bed when she realized that she was tearing up.

"Grace," Spencer called, following her to the bathroom. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Grace's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Grace, I thought you were feeling better. If you're not, please don't hide it for my sake, I don't want you to hurt like that."

Grace opened the door and looked up at Reid, grinning. "Spencer, when have I ever hid my emotions?"

"Well-"

Grace cut him off with a kiss. "I just need to not upset myself like I do." she said.

Grace and Spencer both knew that it was harder than it sounded. Sure Grace had a tendency to say things that made herself upset, but often her mood swings were triggered by things she could not control, things that brought back the memories she couldn't erase.

"Do you think I'll ever be normal, Spencer?" Grace mused, leaning her head against his chest.

Reid smoothed Grace's long, blonde hair. "You don't need to be normal, Grace, you're perfect the way you are."

"Then why do you think I need a therapist and medication?" Grace retorted. "Why do you want to change who I am?"

"That's not what I want at all, Grace." Spencer said. "I just don't want you to hurt anymore. I love everything about you, sweetheart. Besides, if you were normal, you wouldn't want anything to do with me."

Grace kissed his lips. "Why can't you see how amazing you are?" she said, playing with his hair.

"Well..."

Grace laughed and pressed her lips against his again. "That was a rhetorical question, my sweet genius."

"We're going to be late for work." Reid said regrettably.

Grace pouted. "Fine, I'll get ready." she sighed. "Wait, we forgot about that letter!" she added, snatching the letter off the bathroom counter where it had been left the night before.

She tore open the envelope and began to read out loud"

"_Dear Grace,_

_Thank you and Dr. Reid for saving my sorry ass twice in one day and believing my innocence from the beginning. I don't really know how I can begin to repay you for saving my life, but anything you want, consider me your slave for life. I owed you that anyway, Grace. I've realized that since my career took off, I've forgotten about the people who really matter most to me. I'd really like to see you again, so you and Dr. Reid are invited to the opening of my exhibit in D.C. Tell that sexy team of yours I say hi._

_Peace out,_

_Leonard Motherfuckin' Freelove _"

Reid laughed as Grace removed the invitations from the envelope. The eccentric artist had sent them an extra invitation.

"What's so funny?" Grace asked.

"He sent an extra invitation."

"Wow, you really are socially oblivious, aren't you?" Grace said. "How did you not pick up on the major crush Len has on Emily?"

"What? Leonard likes Emily?" Spencer repeated.

Grace rolled her eyes. "Yes, Spencer."

"But he only saw her for like half a day." Reid defended himself.

"So? I knew I liked you the minute I saw you."

"Y-you did?" he stuttered.

"Yeah, I spent like a year and a half in denial, but I did." Grace admitted.

"But you didn't even know my name!" Reid insisted.

"A person decides if they want to sleep with someone within the first seven seconds of meeting them." Grace said. "I'm surprised you didn't know that one, genius."

"I didn't know it because it's not a real fact." Reid said.

"Sure it is, look at Hotch and Ainsley."

"What about Hotch and Ainsley?" Reid asked.

Grace rolled her eyes. "You're so adorable when you're clueless."

"Seriously, what about them?"

"They're kind of sort of together." Grace explained. "Why do you think she's coming down next weekend, but not staying with us?"

"I assumed she was staying at a hotel because it would be more comfortable than your pull-out couch." Reid shrugged.

Grace laughed. "Get ready for work, Spencer. Oh, and you can't tell anyone what I just told you, OK?"

* * *

"So, what brings you here today, Miss Ashton?" the middle-aged brunette woman asked Grace, crossing her legs and setting a notepad on her lap.

Grace sighed. She really hated having to go through this therapy thing all over again, but she was trying to maintain an optimistic point of view. Maybe Dr. Harper would be better than Dr. Browning.

"Well, my boyfriend thinks I need help and my last therapist, Dr. Browning decided to blame him for all my problems because of some dumb issues that he refuses to get over. Did you know most people go into psychology because they want to find out what's wrong with themselves?"

Dr. Harper scribbled something on her notepad. "I can understand your hostility, Grace."

"Don't use my first name." Grace ordered her.

"Alright." Dr. Harper said calmly. "What you say is true. Your profession requires a certain amount of psychology though, does it not?"

"Yeah."

"So you want to know what's wrong with yourself?" Dr. Harper asked.

Grace shrugged. "_Is_ there something wrong with me, Doctor?" She realized she had a slight problem with calling anyone other than Spencer "Doctor".

"Well, that's what we're going to figure out." Dr. Harper responded. "I understand why you're not very open to the idea of therapy after your last experience, Miss Ashton, but I'd really like for you to give it a try. Even if you don't have a mental illness, it can still be a good way to sort out any problematic emotions you may be feeling. Your job and your history both fill you with a lot of negative emotions I assume?"

Grace nodded. "Sometimes I feel like I see the worst of humanity at work, then sometimes it doesn't even faze me because I've experienced worse."

Dr. Harper nodded and jotted something else down in her notepad. "Well, I think to get to the root of your problems, we should start from the beginning."

Grace understood what the doctor was doing. Basic psychology would link a lot of her problems back to her parents and her early childhood.

"From the beginning?" Grace repeated.

Dr. Harper nodded.

Grace took a deep breath and began. "I was born in Canada. My parents had been what I assume was happily married for about six years before I was born. That's when their marriage began to fall apart." Grace paused to block out the guilt she felt. "They wanted a son to take over my father's business. Dad accepted me for the most part. He loved me, but he did pressure me to abandon my femininity."

"How so?" Dr. Harper asked.

"Well, I played with Hot Wheels instead of Barbies and instead of ballet, I played hockey on a boy's team. I enjoyed those things though. It was when I hit puberty that it got to feel like I was being pressured. He wanted me to go into engineering like he did, but numbers never made much sense to me. He said that the arts were a sorry-ass excuse for academics, only created so that stupid feminists could pretend that they were men. He got angry and sometimes violent when people mentioned marriage or children around me. I never minded that much though, I never really had the desire for either and I was glad that someone supported that. He kind of had conflicting expectations for me though. While I was supposed to be the son he never had, I was supposed to be a wife and mother after the divorce."

"Tell me about your mother." Dr. Harper said, looking up from her notes, making eye contact, a tactic to get Grace to open up more.

Grace knew what she was doing. It was a tactic she often used in interrogations. She looked at the floor. "I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"She's evil." Grace said simply.

"Why?"

"A mother is supposed to love her children, right?"

"Well, yes, but sometimes mental illness or other factors can make it seem as if she doesn't, or could make it difficult for her to express her love." Dr. Harper reasoned.

Grace shook her head. "It was never in her. She hated me. My earliest memory is of her telling me that I was worthless. I wanted to kill myself at the age of five. If I wasn't good enough for my mother, how could I be fit to live?"

Grace saw Dr. Harper's eyes widen for a moment before the woman regained her composure and scribbled furiously in her notepad.

"That's not normal, is it?" Grace asked.

Dr. Harper bit her lip. "It's not really my place to say."

Grace nodded. "She wasn't always bad though. She taught me a lot of things my father would have deemed useless bullshit, like horticulture. I saved my teammate's life last week because my mother taught me about fatally poisonous plants. She taught me all about human rights too, which is why I got into criminology. I wanted to be a human rights lawyer."

"What changed that?" Dr. Harper asked.

"My boyfriend." Grace blushed, slightly embarrassed to admit to a well-educated woman that she had given up her dreams of graduate school because of a boy.

"Dr. Reid, yes?"

Grace nodded.

"He's quite the genius, isn't he?"

Grace smiled with pride. Five years ago, she never would have expected to hear those words spoken about any man she dated. "Yeah, he was guest lecturing at my school and he got me interested in the FBI. I'm still not sure if it was the lecture or him." she laughed.

"How is your relationship with him?" Dr. Harper asked.

"Well, we're repairing it I guess." Grace said.

Dr. Harper raised an eyebrow. "Repairing?"

Grace nodded. "I uh... I ran away several months ago. I left him the same way his father left him, so he was obviously hurt."

Dr. Harper nodded. "So, how is the repairing coming along?"

"Great... I think." Grace replied. "It's kind of hard to tell. We had to work separate cases the day after I got back, then I had one of my uh... my episodes when I came home, mostly because my anti-depressants ran out. He took me on a date last night though. I think he forgives me."

"Do you plan to get more anti-depressants?" Dr. Harper asked.

Grace shook her head. "No, not right now anyway. After the initial dark period, I feel fine. Great actually."

"Well, that's great." Dr. Harper said. "Call me if that changes though, alright?"

Grace smiled and nodded.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, fluffy stuff that doesn't have much significance now, but it will later on. Pay attention young'uns. **

**So, I am sorry about freaking out in my last author's note. I'm just overly, overly stressed about things, but everything seems to be going quite well right now. I'm really glad my writer's block is gone and I'm getting back on track with the story. **

**Oh, that reminds me, what do you guys think of the possible side pairings of Hotch/OC and Emily/OC? Just wondering. If it were up to me, I'd just pair everyone up with one of Grace's many friends, but that probably isn't the way to go. I also hope you guys find Leonard to be slightly humourous, even though you have not seen much of him yet. The real life person he's based on is quite the character. Also, prepare for a lot more of Sam and possibly a jealous Spencer. Man, so many OCs to keep track of and there's at least three more to be introduced, although you all have prior information on at least one of them. Anyway, enough spoiling my story.**

**Funny Valentine's Day story time! So, I am single. This is my first single Valentine's Day in several years and I spent it home alone, sick in bed and ignoring the fact that it was a holiday until about 4 pm when all my friends got home from school and onto Facebook. I was just typing away at the ol' story here and talking to my best friend on the phone last night when I saw Facebook telling me that I had a message from this guy at school. This guy is a friend who I'm trying to fight off feelings for because I know it won't work out and whatever. Anyway, the message says something along the lines of "Hey babe, you look pretty cute in this picture." followed by a link. This guy is not one to just call a girl "babe" or just randomly call a girl (well, me anyway...) cute or anything along those lines really. Any logic in my brain ignored this though and I started freaking out to my friend who I was on the phone with. When I was done my crazy, happy spazz, I realized that my friend got his account hacked or something and the link was to a virus or something (yeah, I'm not real tech-savy, but I can tell when something like that is up, at least usually). So I felt really stupid and embarrassed and to make it worse, the virus or hacker or whatever kept sending that same damn message over and over all night just to remind me of what an idiot I am. So yeah, crappy Valentine's Day, but it gave me a funny story anyway.**

**Anyway, please review? I'll love you forever?**


	6. Chapter 6

__

_Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing except my OCs._

**It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson**

* * *

Spencer Reid squinted against the blinding light of the sun. It may have been a sunny day, but the chilly November air forced him to pull his coat tighter around himself. The sound of wheels on concrete made him grind his teeth.

"Spencer, are you OK?" Grace asked him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he said, looking down at her.

The sunlight reflecting on her golden blonde hair made her look stunningly radiant, but Spencer's migraine prevented him from appreciating her beauty. Actually, for the last week and a half it had prevented him from doing much of anything. It had started right after Grace had went to see her new therapist.

From what Spencer could tell, Grace liked her new therapist and was feeling much better than she usually did. Her moments of ecstasy were no longer brief, sporadic or followed by prolonged periods of depression. She seemed genuinely happy. Instead of putting his mind at ease, Grace's new found happiness only made Spencer worry more. Even though he feared the worst for his own mental health, his fear for Grace's still took priority.

Grace was not convinced by her boyfriend's response, but did not want to dwell on it. He had been distant lately. Grace had no idea as to why and assumed it was something to do with her. Her first instinct told her to cry, to scream at him, maybe even hit him until he told her what was wrong, granted her the opportunity to fix it, but in therapy she was learning about how to deal with situations in a more practical, level-headed manner. This situation was eating away at her though. She would not scream or cry, but she would crack Spencer somehow. Now was not the time to try though. Not while they were on a case.

Grace cringed at the all too familiar sound of skateboard wheels on graffitied concrete. It had been several years since she'd heard that noise, and even then she only heard it in dreams, nightmares actually. She hoped Spencer would not notice how uncomfortable the sound made her as they proceeded through the skate park to where the third body had been dumped.

"Can't these kids see that this is a crime scene?" Morgan said.

Grace laughed a little. "I don't think they really care."

"Get them out of here." Rossi ordered a couple cops.

The young officers nodded and followed the agent's orders.

"Hey man," Morgan yelled to a dark skinned, tattooed man on a skateboard. "You have to get out of here, this is a crime scene."

"Nah man," the skateboarder laughed. "_You_ have to get out of here. I'm working."

Morgan then noticed that the man was being followed by a photographer and an entourage of more professional looking people.

Morgan showed his badge and credentials. "Get out of here, or I'll arrest your sorry ass."

"FTP, bro!" he laughed, speeding away on his board.

"He may not arrest you, but I'll call your mother, Jay." Grace laughed.

The young man stopped abruptly and turned around. "Gracie?"

"The one and only."

"What are you doing here?" Jay asked.

"Working, which is more than I can say for you." Grace replied.

"Hey, I'm working." Jay defended himself. "Look, I gots me a sponsor."

Grace rolled her eyes. "What are you doing at my crime scene? Have you not talked to Len lately?" she asked her high school friend.

Jay shook his head. "Nah man, I ain't seen that crazy bastard in years."

Grace sighed. She should have known that without the glue, her ragtag bunch of misfits would fall apart. Her sobriety had sent the boys on different paths. Sometimes she wondered if they only stayed together to help hold her together. Other times she thought she held them together like some kind of a matriarch.

"Well, I guess you're a witness now, Jay." Grace sighed.

* * *

Spencer watched as Grace interviewed their one and only witness. He was standing with Morgan and Rossi at the dump site, but his mind was clearly somewhere else so the other two agents let him be.

As Grace laughed and hugged the tattooed skateboarder, Reid felt his chest swell with an emotion he had never really felt before, some kind of mix between anger, hurt and longing.

His migraine intensified. He wished he was somewhere dark. Somewhere where he did not have to watch his girlfriend flirt with another man.

"Hey kid, you're looking kinda sick." Morgan remarked. "You should go home or something."

Reid shook his head.

"Well, make yourself useful then." Rossi said. "What can you tell us about the dump site?"

Reid tried to focus on the scene in front of him.

"Well, this is a public place, quite open, but not entirely." he said. "The unsub probably doesn't care about being seen. It doesn't look like he did anything to cover up the body or take any care with it. He doesn't care about his victims."

"He?" Morgan asked.

"The stab marks and bruises on her throat indicate that she was raped. Even if she wasn't, it was probably still sexual."

Reid rubbed his forehead and continued to profile the unsub.

* * *

"What did you get from Endino?" Hotch asked Grace back at Quantico.

Grace shrugged. "Nothing. He didn't see anything."

"And you believe him?" Hotch asked, astounded by Grace's incompetence.

"Jay's never lied to me before." Grace replied.

"He was there when the body was dumped!" Hotch yelled. "Get back out there and find out what he's hiding! You know that you're supposed to look for more than words!"

* * *

When it had became clear to the BAU that something was wrong with Reid, they sent him home, assuming he was sick with the flu or something of that nature. Now Spencer sat on the couch in his and Grace's apartment with all the lights turned off, rubbing his eyes as if it would alleviate the pain. He sighed and wondered where Grace could be, it was getting late and he had not heard from her since she left Quantico that afternoon.

Even though Spencer did not want to ruin Grace's wonderful mood with his problems, he wanted her to be home. Seeing her smile might take away some of the pain inside his head.

As if on queue, Spencer's cell phone rang, the caller ID displaying Grace's name.

"Hey sweetheart." Reid greeted his beloved girlfriend.

"Hey Spencer." Grace yelled over loud club music.

"Grace, where are you?" Reid asked.

"What?"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at a club with Jay." Grace replied. "Hotch thinks he's hiding something."

"When are you coming home, sweetheart?" Reid asked, almost whimpering from the amount of pain he was in.

"I don't know, baby. Don't wait up, alright?"

"Alright." Reid sighed. "I love you, Grace."

"I love you too, Spencer."

* * *

"Hey girl, lemme buy you a drank." Jay slurred into Grace's ear, shaking off the half dozen girls who were clinging to him.

Grace shook her head. "No thanks, Jay."

"Come on," Jay insisted. "For old time's sake?"

Grace just laughed. "If I remember correctly, I always paid when we went out, not the other way around."

"Then I owe ya." Jay said.

"I don't want a drink, Jay." Grace said. "Can we go somewhere quieter?"

Jay agreed and they left the club in Grace's car, driving back to the skatepark where the body had been found. They stepped out of the car into the cold night air, Jay taking his skateboard from the trunk. Grace sat atop a steep, concrete bank, watching her friend.

"You know, you don't have to perform for me, Jay." she laughed.

Jay picked up his board, tucked it under his arm and went to sit with Grace.

"I kind of miss the days when it was just you, me, Sam, Len, and Kris." Jay sighed.

Grace shook her head. "I don't. I was dating a douchebag and I was a drug addict. I miss you and the guys, but I love the life I have now."

Jay nodded, but did not fully understand. To him, the best times of his life were when he could just hang out with his friends and not worry about the pressures put on him by his sponsors, his manager and everyone else who wanted a piece of him.

"I miss you too, Grace." Jay said, inching closer to her.

"You know, sometimes I still hear the wheels on the concrete in my dreams." Grace said, staring down at the park.

"You gotta move on." Jay said. "Kris is a tool."

Grace sighed, continuing to stare away from Jay. "I know, I have moved on, but it's like that little noise is always going to be there to remind me that I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve to be loved."

Jay cupped Grace's face in his tattooed, calloused hand so that she had no choice but to look him directly in his deep brown eyes.

"Forget him, Gracie, forget all them fools. You do deserve to be loved, more than anyone I know." he said.

Then Jay's lips collided with Grace's.

* * *

**A/N: Cliffhanger! Oh no!**

**So uh... reviews please?**


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds, just my OCs._

**Forgotten is forgiven. - F. Scott Fitzgerald**

* * *

"Jay!" Grace exclaimed. "Jay, stop it! I have a boyfriend!"

Jay pulled away and looked at Grace in astonishment. "What? Who? I thought you gave up on dating."

Grace pushed Jay away. "No, I'm dating Spencer Reid."

"That other agent?" Jay said.

"Yeah."

"Gracie, I'm sorry."

"Fuck off, Jay!" Grace said, storming off to her car.

* * *

When Grace stepped through the door of the apartment, Spencer immediately wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. Grace was consumed with guilt.

"Spencer, I told you not to wait up." she said.

"I couldn't sleep." Reid mumbled.

"Well, I can." Grace said, wiggling out of his grasp. "Good night."

Spencer followed Grace to bed and curled up beside her, but she pulled away from him.

"Grace..." he whined.

"Spencer, please, I'm not in the mood!" Grace said. "I'm exhausted."

Spencer rolled over and tried to fall asleep despite the excruciating pain in his head. On the other side of their queen sized bed, Grace cried silently. She felt terrible for treating Spencer so meanly, but she couldn't bring herself to look at him or touch him, the guilt was overwhelming.

* * *

The next morning, Grace left the house before Spencer awoke and was at work before everyone else. She sat down at her desk and began to review all the information on the current case, hoping it would take her mind off of what had happened the night before.

The unsub was raping his victims who were all young blonde women in their late teens and early twenties. They were not prostitutes, but two out of three were runaways and the third was a homeless heroin addict. All three dump sites were fairly open areas where the unsub could easily have been seen. The reason the BAU believed he had not aroused suspicion was that the area of the city he took his victims from and dumped their bodies in was an area known for heavy criminal traffic. A shady character in a dark alley or a skatepark in the middle of the night was normal for the area. Other than the assumption that the unsub was a white male between tweny-five and fifty, there was not much that they knew about him.

Grace jumped when her phone rang. The caller ID told her that it was Jay calling, so she hit the "Ignore" button. She scanned the room to make sure no one had entered the bullpen yet then picked up her phone and dialled her cousin's phone number. Having no mother and no older sister, Charlotte was the person Grace turned to most when she needed advice.

"Hello?" Charlotte answered the phone.

"Charlie, I need your help." Grace pleaded.

"Grace? Do you have any idea what time it is here?" Charlotte asked.

Grace had forgotten about the time difference between herself and her cousin. "Sorry, Charlie. I'm in trouble though."

"Trouble? What kind of trouble?" Charlotte asked. "I know I used to tell you you could come to me when you needed help, but you're an adult now, Grace."

"I know, but Charlie, I fucked up real bad." Grace said.

"What happened?"

"I cheated on Spencer." Grace cried. "I don't know what to do. I love him so much, I never meant to hurt him."

"Did you tell him?" Charlotte inquired.

"No."

"Then he doesn't need to know." Charlotte said flatly.

Grace groaned. "But I can't stand the guilt!"

"Did you enjoy it?" Charlotte asked.

"Enjoy what?"

"The sex!"

"What sex?" Grace asked, confused.

"You said you cheated on Spencer, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but I didn't have sex with Jay." Grace said.

"Then it's not cheating!" Charlotte exclaimed.

"But I feel so terrible, Charlotte. I have to tell him, it's eating away at me!" Grace insisted.

"OK, think about this, Grace," Charlotte said calmly. "If he doesn't know, how can he be hurt by it? If you tell him though, he might leave you. Then what? I don't want to see you get hurt again, Grace."

Grace groaned in agony and slammed her head against her desk. "What do I do?"

"I can't tell you that, Grace, you're going to have to figure it out for yourself." Charlotte said.

Grace sighed and said goodbye to her cousin. As soon as she hung up the phone, it rang, Jay again. She hit "Ignore" and went back to the case file.

The other members of the BAU began to arrive, greeting Grace, surprised that she was the first one in today. Spencer was the last agent to get in, coffee in hand, ignoring Grace completely. Grace still could not bring herself to look at him. After about an hour, someone approached her desk to tell her that she had a visitor.

Curiously, Grace left the bullpen to see who was there.

"Oh fuck, no!" she cursed when she saw who her visitor was.

"Hey, at least give me a chance to talk to you, Gracie." Jay said. "After the hassle I got at security, it's the least you could do."

Grace sighed. "Fine. How could you possibly fuck up my life even more, Jay?"

"I'm sorry about last night, Grace. I really am." Jay said. "That's not why I'm here though."

"Why are you here then?" Grace asked.

"I saw something last night." Jay said. "I think it was the guy you're looking for. He came back to the skatepark."

"Did he leave another body?" Grace asked.

"I... I think so. I didn't want to get too close though."

* * *

"Well, I just got off the phone with the D.C. Police and the unsub did leave another body in the same skatepark last night." Hotch said, entering the conference room. "He killed a prostitute this time."

"So he's a house cleaner?" Morgan profiled.

"I don't think so." Grace said. "Jay described him like a homeless man. House cleaners couldn't be the thing they hate, could they?"

"No." Rossi said. "A house cleaner is a mission killer with a strong moral code. He would be mid thirties to late forties, middle class, well dressed, but obviously not brand names, probably religious. He certainly would not rape his victims."

"A homeless man in a psychotic break maybe?" Prentiss said. "He could think these girls were invading his turf or something."

"No, he's more like a hunter." Reid said, rubbing his forehead. "A new victim each night. Plus, a defensive homeless man wouldn't have the time to rape his victims then dump the bodies."

"Yeah, he'd just leave them where they fell." Morgan said. "This guy's transporting them somehow. Did Endino mention any vehicles at the skatepark last night."

Grace shook her head. "No, there were no other vehicles in the parking lot when I left him there."

Spencer show her a suspicious look, but Grace did not notice.

"So he's not a mission based killer and he's not a psychotic homeless man," Prentiss summarized. "What is he?"

"We need to look at him based on the evidence we have so far." Rossi insisted.

"And what does that leave us with?" Morgan asked.

"Just your average, run of the mill, friendly neighbourhood serial rapist." Grace said sarcastically.

* * *

Grace regretted her words as soon as Hotch uttered the word "undercover". Standing in front of the mirror in fishnets and a black leather mini-skirt, she reminded herself of her heroin days. Sure she'd never had to resort to prostitution, but the attire resembled what she would have worn on-stage when she was still singing.

"You ready?" Prentiss asked, also dressed like a lady of the night.

"Should I be getting used to this whole 'bait' thing?" Grace laughed.

"I wouldn't say get used to it," Prentiss said. "But definitely prepare yourself mentally for it."

Grace nodded and followed Emily to the Suburban. Morgan and Reid were waiting for them. Grace caught Spencer steal several glances at her in the rearview mirror, but they exchanged no words the entire drive.

"Be careful, ladies." Morgan said, stopping the SUV when they reached their destination.

Grace grabbed Spencer's hand before hopping out of the vehicle and gave him a long, apologetic look. He forced a smile through his headache and kissed her quickly on the forehead.

Grace got out of the Suburban and walked the block to where she had been ordered to go. She knew Emily was on the opposite end of the street, but could not see her. She surveyed the street for the unsub's other potential targets. There were small clusters of homeless people, seeming to be divided by age groups. There were several prostitutes leaning against a chain link fence, looking for johns. Grace observed a few loners, but they weren't the unsub's type, too old and a couple were men.

Suddenly, Grace heard a scream which she recognized to be Emily. She took her gun from her purse and ran down the street as fast as she could in the cheap stilettos she was wearing. Emily was pinned against a wall in a dark alley by a large man wearing a mask. Without hesitation, Grace aimed and pulled the trigger on her gun.

* * *

"So how do you feel about killing the perpetrator?" Dr. Harper asked Grace.

"Well, I saved Emily's life. He was a serial rapist/killer. I still feel terrible about it though." Grace said.

"And why do you think that is?"

"Well, I took somebody's life. If I don't feel bad about it, I'm no better than the sickos I catch." Grace sighed.

"Well, I think your guilt is healthy, but you shouldn't let it consume you, you saved your co-worker's life and the lives of many other women. You're good at your job, Grace." Dr. Harper said. She had finally gotten Grace to permit her to call her by her first name. Since that had happened, Grace was more open with her, just as Dr. Harper knew she would.

"It's not just that guilt that's eating at me." Grace said.

"What else are you feeling guilty about?" Dr. Harper asked.

"I uh... I cheated on Spencer." Grace confessed.

"You haven't told him?"

Grace shook her head.

"It may not end well," Dr. Harper said. "But it's the only way to get rid of the guilt."

Grace nodded, wiping a tear from her eye. "Can we end early?" she asked. "I have to talk to Spencer."

Dr. Harper nodded and Grace ran out of the office, pulling her coat on over her sweater. Her phone began to ring as she unlocked the door of her car.

"Hello?" she answered, forgetting to check the caller ID.

"Hey, Gracie, it's Jay!"

Grace smacked her palm against her forehead. "Hi Jay."

"Listen, Gracie, I'm sorry about the other night." Jay said. "I'm leaving town tonight. I understand if you don't ever want to see me again, but I'm sorry. I'll stay out of your life if that's what you want, Gracie, but if you need anything, just call, OK?"

"Alright, Goodbye, Jay." Grace bid her old friend farewell.

* * *

"Hey, Spencer, I'm home!" Grace called, kicking off her shoes at the door.

The lights were off, all the curtains were drawn and the small apartment was silent.

"Spencer, baby, are you alright?" Grace called out again.

She hurried down the hallway to their bedroom where she found Spencer sitting on the bed with

his head in his hands.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" Grace asked, sitting on the bed beside him.

"My head." Spencer groaned. "It won't stop. It hurts so much, Grace."

Grace placed a hand on Spencer's back and rubbed it in an attempt to comfort him. "Shhh... it's alright." she said, hugging him tightly. "Come here, I'll make it all better."

Reid shook his head. "Grace, it's not going to stop. It's been like this for weeks now."

"Spencer, have you even thought about seeing a doctor?" Grace asked.

Spencer finally caved and began to cry on Grace's shoulder. Grace held him and tried to comfort him. She felt horrible for not noticing sooner. She was a complete failure as a girlfriend.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner, Spencer?" Grace asked.

"You were getting better, I didn't want to ruin that for you."

"Oh, Spencer." Grace said, now crying herself.

"There's no point in seeing the doctor," Spencer sighed. "It's.. it's schizophrenia."

"Spencer, you don't know that for sure." Grace insisted.

"Yes, yes I do."

"Shhh... Spencer, it's OK, we'll get through this." Grace assured him.

"_We_?"

"Yes, _we_." Grace said. "I love you. Nothing is going to change that, not even schizophrenia."

"I love you too, Grace."

Grace hugged Spencer tighter and kissed his forehead. "Spencer, I know this is a really bad time, but I have to tell you, I can't keep this in anymore, it hurts too much."

"What is it, sweetheart?" Spencer asked.

"I... I cheated on you, Spencer." Grace sobbed.

Spencer broke out of her arms and stood up. Part of him wanted to run out of the apartment and never come back, another part of him wanted to stay and hear Grace tell him she was joking.

"Grace..."

"I'm sorry, Spencer, I'm so sorry!" Grace bawled. "I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean for it to even happen, it just did and I feel terrible. Please, please tell me you'll forgive me, Spencer."

"Wh-who was it, Grace?" Spencer demanded.

"What?"

"Who was it?"

"Jay. It was Jay." Grace said, ashamed.

"You had sex with Jay?"

"What? No!" Grace exclaimed. "We only kissed! I'd never have sex with anyone else!"

"That's it?"

"What do you mean 'That's it'?" Grace repeated. "I cheated on you, Spencer!"

Spencer laughed and sat back down on the bed beside Grace. "Who kissed who?"

"Well, Jay kissed me." Grace said. "He caught me totally off-guard and-"

"Grace, as far as I'm concerned, you didn't cheat on me."

"R-really?"

"You had no intention of kissing Jay, did you?" Spencer asked.

"No." Grace replied.

"Then you didn't cheat, sweetheart. I just wish you had've told me sooner so you didn't have to feel so bad for nothing." Spencer said.

"So, you're not mad?" Grace asked in shock.

"No." Spencer said.

She bit her lip nervously. "Can we have make-up sex anyway? It might help your headache."

Spencer laughed and pinned his girlfriend to the bed. He tucked a piece of her long blonde hair behind her ear and kissed her tenderly on the lips.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading, let me know what you think. **


	8. Chapter 8

______

_Disclaimer: I do not own CM, just my OCs and plot._

****

******Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. - Thomas Merton**_****__

* * *

_

"Gracie!" the tall, scrawny blonde man called to Grace as she entered the art gallery with Reid and Prentiss.

"Len!" Grace exclaimed, leaving Spencer's side to hug her old friend.

"If you ever run away again, I'm going to hunt you down and drag you home." Leonard threatened.

Grace laughed and broke free of his grasp. "If you chase after me, Len, I'm just gonna keep running, you creep."

Grace secretly wondered how Leonard had hear about her disappearance. He had his connections that Grace was more than wary of, but she wondered if her running away was just common knowledge now.

Grace returned to Spencer's side and the couple watched as Leonard greeted Emily with a kiss on the hand. Grace had to laugh at how hard her friend was trying. He'd always been that way, even back in high school, he would pretend to be a huge player, but when he found a girl he really wanted, he fell head over heels and would do absolutely anything for her. Of course, that often lead to Leonard getting his heart broken after just one date then dealing with the pain by self-medicating and engaging in completely reckless behaviour. Grace just hoped that that would not be the case if Leonard actually succeeded with Emily.

Grace took Spencer's hand and lead him away from Len and Emily.

"What? Where are we going?" he asked.

"I think those two need some privacy." Grace replied.

"Privacy?" Spencer repeated. "This place is packed."

Grace just rolled her eyes and lead him to the least crowded part of Len's exhibit.

"You know," Spencer said, staring at one of Len's paintings, "You and Len have really similar styles."

Grace laughed. "Really, Dr. Obvious? We only had the same useless art teacher and painted together and spent most of our adolescence together."

"You didn't let me finish." Spencer said. "It means you two think alike."

Grace laughed even harder. "I do not think like Leonard Freelove."

"I thought he was Leonard Hunter to you?" Spencer asked, looking away from the painting and at Grace.

"Tonight he's Freelove." Grace said. "Look around, see how many people he has to put a show on for?"

Spencer nodded and continued his comparison of Grace and Len's artwork. "You guys use the same kind of symbolism." he said.

"Don't most people?" Grace asked.

"Not the way you do." Spencer replied. "You and Len both use brains to symbolize a lot of different things that most people would symbolize with a heart or wouldn't even know hoe to symbolize, lots of intangible things; love, fear, beauty, individuality."

Grace nodded. "I always thought there was no point in symbolizing those things with hearts and stuff like that, emotions come from the brain."

"You symbolize life with hearts though." Spencer continued.

"Because the heart is what keeps us alive. Life in that sense is something completely separate from our brains and emotions."

"What if it were both?" Spencer asked.

Grace stared deep into his eyes. Trying to think of an answer. Living to her meant breathing, going through daily routines like going to work. Emotions were something she had to deal with separately. They were too much to handle while she was living her day to day life, she had to lock herself away from the world to deal with them. With Spencer though, the two things seemed to mix together. Sure her extreme emotions were still too much for her, but with Spencer and the team, Grace felt like now she had some kind of support like she had never had before when dealing with her mind and her feelings. Her family scoffed at the idea of therapy and did not even believe in mental illness. Leonard, Sam and the gang had embraced the idea of being insane a little too much.

Grace wrapped her arms tightly around Spencer's torso. "I love you." she said.

"I love you too, crazy girl." Spencer said, hugging her back. "Uh... Grace?"

"Yeah?" she said, looking up at him.

"Can we get some air? My head..."

Grace nodded and followed Spencer outside. They both breathed separate sighs of relief when they were free of the over-crowded, much too loud building. Grace began to shiver, her sleeveless navy blue dress giving her no protection from the heavy snowfall that had just begun. Spencer instinctively removed his coat, the brown one he had had forever and helped Grace slide her arms into it. Grace smiled in thanks then began to run around and spin in circles on the lawn, trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue.

"Grace? What are you doing?" Spencer called after her.

Grace just laughed like a maniac and took him by the hand. She spun them in circles several times before pulling Spencer to the now snow-covered ground.

"I never thought I'd say it, but I think I'm actually home-sick." Grace though aloud, resting her head on Spencer's chest. "I remember this one time, the power went out during this really bad storm in the winter and Macy and I went out to the garage to get the generator, but we ended up making snow angels instead and forgot all about the generator until we saw the lights come back on inside the house and realized it was two thirty in the morning."

"Do you want to go visit Macy and Ty this weekend?" Spencer asked.

"No." Grace sighed. "They're both busy with school. Macy think they're gonna graduate in about two years, they've got the highest marks out of all the other med students and are taking on a bunch of extra courses. She invited us to go stay with them for Christmas though."

"I was actually planning to stay with my mother over Christmas." Spencer said timidly.

"Oh, OK." Grace said. "Want to come to Macy's after then?"

"Sure."

They were silent for a moment, staring at the night sky until Grace finally spoke up.

"Have you been to the doctor yet?" she asked.

"Yes." Spencer sighed.

"What did he say?"

"There uh... there wasn't anything on the MRI." he replied nervously.

Grace rolled over to look Spencer in the eye. "Well, that's good."

Spencer's eyes widened. "Good? How is that good? It just means that I'm more likely to have schizophrenia now!"

"Spencer! There are worse things than schizophrenia!" Grace yelled, on the verge of tears. "It could have been a tumour, or... or..." She was too angry to finish. How could Spencer not be happy he wasn't dying?

"Grace, do you have any idea how bad schizophrenia is? Have you ever had to live with someone who has it?" Spencer fought back. "No, you haven't, so you have no right-"

"Spencer, please just stop." Grace said. "I don't want to fight right now. I just want you to feel better. Have you been tested yet?"

Spencer shook his head. "If I go, it just becomes too real."

Grace nodded. "Please, promise me you'll go?" she pleaded.

"Why? So you can know whether or not to leave me?" Spencer asked venomously.

"No, I told you that I'd stay." Grace replied. "I just want you to find out so we can know what to do about it. Do you know how much it hurts me to see you in this kind of pain?"

Spencer closed his eyes because he could not bring himself to look into Grace's. He did not fully believe that she would not leave him if it turned out he was mentally ill. She had never lived with someone who had the cursed disease, how could she promise she would stay when she didn't even understand the severity of it? He had no desire to find out whether or not he really did have it. The longer he stayed in denial, the longer he had with Grace. He had a pretty accurate guess as to how much Grace was hurt by his physical pain though. Since she felt everything ten times more than the average person, this could not be easy for her.

"Alright." Spencer gave in. "I promise I'll go get tested when I have the time."

Grace pouted, but she knew it was the best she could get since Spencer always put work first.

"Hey, we've been looking everywhere for you two!" the couple heard Emily exclaim.

They quickly got up and brushed the snow off of themselves. They blushed like a couple of kids who just gotten caught kissing.

"Everyone's clearing out now." Len said.

"So soon?" Grace asked, it was only eleven.

"There's a snowstorm coming." Emily said. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I won't be needing a ride home."

"Alright," Grace grinned. "See you two later!"

"I don't get it. Why is Len driving Emily home?" Spencer asked on their way back to Grace's car. "His hotel's in the opposite direction. Emily's apartment is right on out way."

Grace rolled her eyes. "She's not going home, Spencer."

"Then where is Emily going? Didn't you hear her? There's a snowstorm coming."

Grace laughed as she unlocked the car door. "She's going back to Len's hotel room." she said as she turned the key in the ignition.

"Why?"

"Seriously?" Grace asked. "You know what? I'm just going to let you figure this one out on your own since you're such a genius."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, not my best chapter. I'm kind of at a loss for plot ideas right now. Suggestions would be nice. Sorry for taking so long to update too, I'm starting to lose faith in this story. That's about all I have to say. **


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: I do not own CM, but I do own my OCs and my plot._

**She goes from one addiction to another. All are ways for her to not feel her feelings. - Ellen Burstyn**

* * *

Spencer knew by the look on Macy's face that something was wrong. As soon as he stepped through the door of the small apartment, the petite, youthful girl whose hair was dyed a vibrant blue now, greeted him with her arms crossed. The way she looked up at him under her bangs reminded Spencer of vengeful, undead Asian children from horror films.

"Whatever you did, you better fix it." Macy threatened.

"Macy, I have no idea what I did wrong." Spencer said. "Where's Grace? What's wrong?"

Macy rolled her eyes and pointed down the hallway to the guest bedroom where Grace had barricaded herself since late Christmas Eve. Spencer knocked on the door.

"Fuck off, Mace!" Grace groaned.

"Grace, sweetheart, it's me, Spencer."

"Go away, Spencer." Grace begged.

Spencer sighed. "Please Grace, you're being childish, tell me what's wrong."

"No, I said _go away_!" Grace sobbed.

Spencer balled his fists and closed his eyes. Grace's emotions were trying, but he had never felt as frustrated as he did now. He sighed and went to the living room where Macy was sitting with Ty.

"Macy, what happened?" Spencer asked. "She was getting better."

Macy shrugged. "She usually gets like this around Christmas."

"Why?"

"Because she's immature and stupid." Macy replied.

Spencer was confused. Macy and Grace were the closest sisters he had ever encountered, mostly due to the fact that Grace had raised Macy and they were the only people who understood the things that the other had endured in their childhood. Spencer could see no reason for what Macy had just said except that she was angry at her sister and was lashing out. Macy couldn't stand to see Grace in need of help because she was supposed to be the strong, independent woman who raised her. Macy did not want to accept this alternative view of her sister.

"Macy, that's not fair." her husband said. "She's been through enough, leave her alone."

Spencer had always wondered about the cross that Ty wore around his neck. He had feared that Grace's brother-in-law would be judgemental of her troubled past, but he seemed to be concerned and sympathetic.

"Then why does she have to ruin every Christmas like this?" Macy asked. "Damn it Ty, this is our first Christmas as a married couple and look what she does! Everything has to be about her all the damn time!"

"Macy, did anything traumatic happen around Christmastime when you and Grace were kids?" Spencer asked.

Macy shrugged. "Mum and Dad always fought, but we were used to that. When we were older was when Grace started to act like this."

"Do you remember why?" Spencer asked.

"Stop interrogating me!" Macy demanded.

"Macy, he's just trying to help Grace." Ty assured her.

"She hated Christmas because of all the pressure our family would put on her." Macy answered Spencer's question. "She hated them. So did I. She hasn't acted like this since she got clean though."

Spencer jumped out of the armchair he had been sitting in and ran to the guestroom.

"Spencer, what are you doing?" Macy asked.

"I'll pay to fix the door." he said frantically before kicking it beside the doorknob.

The door burst open and Spencer ran to Grace.

"Show me your arms." he ordered.

"No." Grace said, backing up against the wall.

Spencer sat on the bed beside her and grabbed her arm. He pushed up the sleeve of her sweater, but did not see what he expected to see. There were no tract marks, her arms were bare. Realizing that Grace was too smart to leave scars in a place as visible as her arms, Spencer reached for her feet. Having become quiet paranoid about the physical signs of his own drug use, he had injected himself with Dilaudid in the veins between his toes several times. Grace's own feet, after he had managed to seize them were free of injections sites as well.

Spencer was confused, but not for long. If Grace was not injecting heroin, she must be smoking it. He began to tear the room apart in search of her stash.

"It's in the nightstand drawer." Grace said when she realized what Spencer was doing.

He looked at her, frowned and opened the drawer. Inside he found a small bag of heroin, a syringe, a spoon and a lighter.

"I haven't used any." Grace said.

"Then why do you...?"

Grace sighed and patted the bed beside her, inviting Spencer to sit beside her.

"Please, just humour me." Grace said when she saw Spencer hesitating.

Spencer stood in front of her for another moment, looking angry and confused until he finally sat down on the bed beside his girlfriend, keeping his distance, but staring deep into her green eyes.

"I... I started craving a couple weeks ago." Grace explained. "I... I bought a small stash so I could prove to myself that I could stay away."

"Grace, that's... that's the worst idea I've ever heard of!" Spencer exclaimed.

"I... I just needed to know I was strong enough." Grace mumbled.

Spencer's face lit up the way it did when he found the answer to a question. "What happened?" he asked, knowing there must have been some event that had triggered these feelings in Grace after her mood had been improving so well.

"My mother called." Grace sighed. "She called to talk to the daughter she loves, but I didn't check the caller ID when I answered."

Spencer wrapped his arms around Grace and kissed the top of her head.

"It's been years since I talked to her." Grace continued. "It's good to know I'm still not good enough though." Her voice cracked on the last word and Spencer could tell she was on the brink of tears.

Suddenly, things started to make sense. Of course the root of most of Grace's psychological problems, as Freudian as it sounded, was her mother. Grace never felt like she was good enough for her mother, the woman who by society's definition of the word was supposed to love her unconditionally and take care of her. With her mother out of her mind for awhile, Grace had improved, but hearing from her again had destroyed any progress she had made.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Spencer whispered as he held on to Grace, expecting her to start crying at any moment.

"It's just not fair." Grace said. "I've spent my entire life trying to be the daughter she wanted, the _son_ she wanted, I guess, but nothing's ever good enough. Even now that I'm sober and I've got an awesome job and an amazing boyfriend, I'm still a failure in her eyes. I wish Daddy was still alive, I bet he'd be proud of me."

"Grace, do you remember when I told you about my father?" Spencer asked. Grace nodded, looking slightly puzzled, then he continued, "You told me that he didn't know what he was missing. Why can't you see that your mother doesn't deserve you. You don't need to worry about her, Grace."

Grace looked Spencer dead in the eye, her own now free of any tears that might fall. "You know just as well as I do that that's a whole lot easier to say than it is to believe."

Spencer sighed then gave Grace a pleading look. "Please just try? For me?"

Grace sighed and leaned her head on Spencer's shoulder. "I love you." she said.

"I love you too."

* * *

"Well you look... rested." Ty laughed as Grace dragged herself into the small kitchen the next morning.

"And you look like a high school kid with all that acne on your face." Grace retorted. "Mace, that better be real bacon in that frying pan, not that damn turkey stuff."

"Of course it's real." Macy replied. "And how could you say she looks rested, Ty?" she asked her husband. "You heard what went down in there last night."

Grace turned a bright shade of red. Both her and Spencer had forgotten that the bedroom door was broken when they made love the night before, and again that morning. Macy and Ty had heard everything.

Grace jumped when she felt a pair of slender hands on her hips and lips on her shoulder. She turned around to see Spencer standing behind her, fully dressed.

"Mmm... good morning." Grace smiled as Spencer wrapped her in his arms. "Why are you dressed already?" she asked him.

"Because I have to go buy your sister a new door." Spencer replied. "I don't think her or Ty really want to hear us tomorrow night."

"Thank you!" Macy exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

Grace just blushed some more and his her face until she heard her cell phone ringing on Macy's counter. She dashed across the kitchen the answer the call.

"Hey Jaje," Grace greeted her friend. "How was your Christmas?"

Spencer saw the smile on his girlfriend's face disappear as she said, "Oh, OK... We'll be there as soon as we can... Alright, see ya."

Grace sighed and turned around to face Spencer. "Looks like you won't be getting that door today." she laughed halfheartedly.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know, it's been far too long since I've updated and there's really no excuse for it, but I apologize nonetheless. This story was just dragging me down for awhile and I was losing faith in it and I received some rather negative feedback and I was dealing with things in my personal life. It's still no excuse though. It's just that this story was my escape from real life for so long, then I ended up needing an escape from the story. Anyway, I feel like I'm getting back on track now and it may be awhile, but there will be a next chapter.**

**Also, I had an idea, but I'm just wondering what my readers think. Should I do side series for the other pairings I've created in Threshold (Hotch/Ainsley, Prentiss/Leonard)? If I do, it'll just be a small side project that I won't start until summer, but what do you guys think?**

**Oh, another question I had for you guys was what do you think of a story with Reid as a dilaudid addicted criminal? Not criminal as in serial killer, there's enough of those stories on here, but just a thieving drug addict who's part of an (almost) gang. Sorry if this idea sounds extremely weird, it's just that it has something to do with an idea I had for the Threshold series. I won't say anything on here, but if you inbox me with your opinion on this, I'll tell you a bit about why I'm asking.**


	10. Chapter 10

_Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds._

**Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. - Lao Tzu**

* * *

Grace shielded her eyes from the bright Florida sunshine as she stepped onto the tarmac off of her and Spencer's commercial flight to Key West International Airport. She was not looking forward to wearing her Canadian winter weather wear in this heat and envied Spencer's ability to stand the unforgiving temperature. There was work to be done though, as much as Grace would have enjoyed vacationing here, so the couple got into the Suburban that awaited them and followed the pre-programmed GPS to the Monroe County Police Department where they would be meeting up with the rest of the team. During the drive, Grace felt Spencer watching her, but she did not make a big deal out of it. There was nothing she could say to make him stop worrying about her relapsing, she would just have to prove to him that she was strong enough.

"Hey you two, how was Ottawa?" Prentiss greeted them.

"Lovely," Grace replied with a hint of sarcasm, "Until you guys called." she shot a dirty look at JJ, jokingly of course.

"Hey, feel free to go back whenever you like," JJ said, "But you're going to have to look a missing girl's mother in the eye and tell her that you'd rather go hang out with your sister while her daughter's missing."

"Well fuck," Grace said. "I wish you'd told me this sooner." She sighed and slumped into a nearby chair.

Once Spencer had settled into his seat, Hotch began to brief the team on the case. Over the last three months, two little girls from the Keys had gone missing only to have their alligator-chewed remains discovered weeks later. Now another girl had gone missing within the last forty-eight hours. All three girls had been abducted from gas stations or grocery stores. They were all four years old with blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Reid, we need a geographical profile." Hotch ordered. "Prentiss, Rossi, I want you two to head to the morgue, Morgan, Ash, go to the gas station where Samantha was abducted, JJ and I will go deal with her parents."

* * *

"So, Blondie, what's up with you and Pretty Boy?" Morgan asked Grace as they drove to the gas station.

"What do you mean 'what's up'? Nothing's 'up'. We're fine." Grace defended.

"That's an awful lot of protesting for nothing."

Grace rolled her eyes. "He thinks I'm going to relapse." she admitted.

Morgan bit his lip, unsure of what to say. Of course the team had all had their suspicions about Grace, but just like when Reid had faced his addictions, no one dared to mention it."Are you?" he asked, figuring that if Grace was going to be straight up with him, he might as well be straight up with her.

She shook her head.

"Well, that's Reid for ya. He'll come around soon enough."

Grace nodded and stared out the window for the rest of the ride. When they pulled into the parking lot of the gas station, she snapped back to reality and threw herself into the case.

"So, we're looking at a preferential child molester?" she said.

Morgan shook his head as he observed the location. Four pumps, plenty of parking space, medium sized building with only one employee at the counter and minimal video surveillance. "We don't have anything that points to molestation yet." he said. "But it is preferential."

"Look," Grace said, pointing to the side of the building where there were several picnic tables with a good view of the parking lot. "Do you think maybe he waited there until he saw a girl he wanted?"

"It's possible." Morgan said then made his way to the building.

The pair scanned the store and discovered that there was only on video camera and it was located behind the counter, leaving many blind spots in the surveillance footage. There were however, several curved mirrors in the corners of the store, but the cashier would not have seen anything because he had been talking to Samantha's mother.

"This location is just too ideal." Grace mused.

"I'm starting to think you're right." Morgan admitted. "He probably did stake this place out."

Grace just nodded. "On to the next one?" she suggested.

Morgan nodded and twirled the keys to the Suburban in his hand.

* * *

Morgan put the SUV in park and he and Grace stepped out into the parking lot of the grocery store just as the sun was setting. The store was crowded with shoppers seeking after-Christmas sales and the employees were already putting out decorations for the next holiday.

"This place has plenty of security cameras." Morgan pointed out.

"There's a coffee lounge over there where he could have waited though." Grace pointed out.

"How could he have snatched Emma without being seen though?"

Grace looked around at the hordes of shoppers and thought for a moment. "Well, if it's this busy after Christmas, imagine how bad it would've been before the holidays. Now, is the unsub was in the midst of a large crowd, all the cameras would have seen was him bump into Emma's mother. Emma's what, like three feet tall, tops? The cameras would never see her over everyone else. He could have just grabbed her hand and-" Grace paused when her breath hitched and she felt her heart stop. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, only to see a flash of deep red hair and hear someone calling her name.

"Uh... Grace, you OK?" Morgan asked, his voice full of concern.

"Um.. yeah, I guess so." Grace replied, confused as to what had just happened. "Maybe I am going to relapse after all."

"No way am I going to let that happen, Blondie." Morgan said.

Grace forced a smile. "Thanks." she said, but knew there was more to it than just that.

* * *

Grace leaned against the door frame as she watched Reid mark all sorts of different colour-coded things on the map that was pinned to one of the three large cork-boards that surrounded the table and chairs at the centre of the small room. She smiled as he frowned at the board with his nose pressed up against it.

"You know, you should probably wear your glasses when you do that." Grace said, causing Reid to jump back and look at her. "Or is this why you need them in the first place?"

Reid laughed and accepted the large cup of coffee Grace offered him.

"Have I ever told you how cute you are?" Grace teased as Reid took a sip of his coffee.

"Yeah, about seventy-three times I think." he blushed.

Grace laughed the first full, wholehearted laugh she'd had in a long time then wrapped her arms around her boyfriend and pressed her face into his chest. "I love you." she mumbled.

"I love you too, Grace." Reid said, kissing the top of her head.

"I miss this." Grace sighed. She froze for a moment when she realized that maybe this relationship was slipping away from her, ending just like the others. Everything was picture perfect until she woke up one day and realized there was no love or happiness left in the relationship then tried as hard as she could to hold onto it for as long as she could.

"I do too." Reid admitted. "I just want you to be happy, Grace."

The couple pulled apart when they heard someone cough at the door. They both looked up to see Hotch standing there, looking quite angry.

"Hey, Hotch, you really don't have the right to say anything about me and Spencer hugging." Grace said before Hotch even had a chance to open his mouth. "You're banging my extremely pregnant friend."

Hotch rolled his eyes at Grace.

"By the way, how are things with Ainsley?" she asked. "She hasn't called me in forever."

"We have a case to focus on, if you don't mind." Hotch said.

"Fine," Grace said. "But I'll find out one way or another."

Hotch began to examine Reid's map. "So he's travelling through the Keys." he stated.

"Yeah," Reid said. "I had Garcia search for similar abductions and murders in the state and she didn't find any. So it's safe to say that the Keys are his hunting ground and the three victims we know of are the only ones."

"Which means we've got to find Samantha fast." Hotch said.

* * *

Grace groaned and laid her head on the table. It was two in the morning and Reid was sitting across the table from her, sipping at a cup of coffee. The couple was stuck at the Munro County PD, answering the tip-line that had been set up and aiding the rest of the team who were out looking for the missing girl.

"Hello young lovers." Rossi said as he stepped into the room, causing Grace to look up from the desk.

"Hey Rossi." Grace yawned.

"You two can go back to the hotel and get some rest now." Rossi informed them as he took a seat at the table. "Everyone's decided to turn in for the night. Prentiss and I are going to watch the phones until someone comes in to relieve us in the morning."

* * *

Reid had just gotten out of the shower and into the hotel room bed when he heard a knock at the door. Having already said goodnight to Grace and left her at the door of her room, he had no idea who it could be. Normally he and Grace shared a room while on a case, but tonight they were both exhausted and cases involving children usually caused them to go to different places deep within their minds, retreating from the world and eachother. So naturally Reid was surprised to find Grace standing at the door in nothing but a red silk robe.

"Grace, sweetheart, why aren't you in bed?" Reid asked rather nervously.

Grace shrugged and pushed Reid back into his room. "I need you." she said nonchalantly as she placed her hand on his neck and thrust her hips closer to his, still pushing him backwards toward the bed.

"Grace, you need to get some sleep." Reid tried to tell her, but she ignored him and pushed him onto the bed.

"I need you, Spencer!" she said, almost whining, almost begging, but still seductive. She grabbed Reid's hands and put them on her waist, close to the belt of her robe, just begging for him to pull the strings and let the robe fall to the floor.

Reid sighed in defeat and untied the belt. The robe fell to the floor and revealed Grace's lacy red bra and panties. Grace pressed her lips firmly against Reid's and climbed on top of him. Once she was straddling him, she felt him rise and deepened their kiss. When they came up for air, Grace giggled then began to nip at Reid's neck, causing him to moan and tighten his grip on her ass. With a hard and forceful shove, Grace pushed Spencer onto his back. Kissing and caressing his body, Grace began to undress her lover. Reid reached to undo a button on his shirt, but Grace slapped his hand away.

"Don't move." she ordered.

Reid swallowed the lump in his throat and laid still as Grace continued to tear off his clothing. Once Reid was finally naked, all that stood between them was Grace's underwear. Grace did not seemed too concerned with this as she put her hands and lips all over Reid's body though. Reid would have undressed her, but she had told him not to move and to be honest, he was quite afraid to question her authority right now. His need for her overcame his fear though and grabbing her by the hips, he flipped her onto her back and began to pull at her panties. Grace laughed and bit his shoulder before wrestling him onto his back again.

"What, you didn't think I'd let you help?" Grace smirked, taking Reid's hand and placing it just below her naval.

Spencer dragged his finger slowly down Grace's belly then slipped it inside her underwear, causing her to moan. Encouraged by the sounds she was making, Spencer decided to adventure deeper.

"Spencer," Grace gasped. "Please..."

He grinned and flipped her onto her back, finally winning his dominance over her.

* * *

After he came, Spencer kissed the deep scars on Grace's stomach as she still shook in her orgasm.

"I love you." Grace sighed once Spencer pulled out of her.

"I love you too, crazy girl." Spencer said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her shoulder.

Grace mumbled something about how amazing she thought Spencer was then quickly fell asleep. Watching her sleep, Spencer wondered what this most recent sexual encounter said about his girlfriend's mental state.

She had began by trying to dominate him, something that was rare for her. This suggested that she was trying to prove some kind of strength. Spencer wondered if this had anything to do with her almost-relapse. Most guys would egotistically attribute Grace giving in and letting herself be dominated to their penis size or their abilities in bed, but not Dr. Spencer Reid with his numerous PhDs and insecurities. In Spencer's mind, Grace giving in was a sign of how broken she really was and how much she needed him to take care of her. Usually thoughts like this would keep him awake all night, but he was exhausted, physically and emotionally and soon fell asleep with Grace wrapped tightly in his arms.

* * *

Grade woke with a start, much like as if she had just walked off of a skyscraper in her dream. The images of a slender woman with red hair were fresh in her mind and she felt inexplicably terrified. Her body trembled with the fear and all she wanted was to feel someone's arms around her.

"Spencer?" she whispered. "Spencer..."

"Mmm?" he grunted. "Five more minutes..."

Grace nuzzled into Spencer's chest and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her. "Spencer, I had a dream."

"Grace, the average person has approximately four to six dreams per night." Spencer said. "You dream when you enter the R.E.M. stage of sleep. R.E.M. stands for rapid eye movement and-"

"I know that, Spencer." Grace said. "I meant I had a bad dream. I don't remember what it was about though. All I remember is this really tall redheaded woman and-"

"Shhh..." Spencer calmed her, rubbing her back. "It's OK, sweetheart, it's just a dream. You're alright."

"I'm scared." Grace whimpered, burying her face deeper in Spencer's chest.

"It's not real, Gracie, it's just a dream." Spencer said.

Grace looked him dead in the eye. "You know just as well as I do that it's not 'just a dream', Spencer." she said.

Spencer sighed and tightened his grip on her. "I'm sorry Grace. You're safe right here though. Just go back to sleep and we'll deal with it in the morning, OK?"

Grace nodded and went back to sleep, only to have the dream return.

* * *

"Hey, get any sleep last night?" JJ asked Grace and Spencer as they dragged their exhausted bodies into the Monroe County Sheriff's Department the next morning.

Grace groaned and collapsed into a chair, her tired eyes still hidden behind her sunglasses.

"Obviously you don't have a room beside these two, or you wouldn't be asking that." Morgan teased.

Emily shuddered and nearly choked on the coffee she was sipping. "Gross, Morgan." she said. "I really didn't need to hear that."

"I'm surprised you couldn't hear Blondie screaming from your end of the hall." Morgan said.

Grace tore her sunglasses off of her face and tossed them on the table. "I was screaming?" she asked, looking to Spencer for validation. He simply shrugged, looking just as confused as she was.

"Yeah, you were screaming your head off." Morgan said.

"I'll spare you guys the details, but I _was not_ screaming." Grace defended herself.

"I don't even want to know what you're yelling about this time, Ash." Hotch said, stepping into the small room the local police had designated for the BAU. "Let's get to work, we've got a girl to find."

Grace and Spencer exchanged a look before getting to work. It was obvious to both of them that Grace's dream had been much more than just a dream.

* * *

Grace rolled her eyes as she stood once again in the gas station where Samantha had been abducted. "Dave, what's the point of doing this again?" she whined. "We already know there's no way anyone could've seen the guy."

Dave took a deep breath, but did not lose his patience with Grace. Unlike Hotch, Rossi knew how to handle the young agent and saw her as a valuable asset to their team when she focused and applied herself correctly.

"That's not entirely true, Hotch thinks that Samantha's mother may have seen the unsub, but can't remember clearly enough." Rossi said.

"OK, then why not bring her down here and put her through this?" Grace challenged him.

"I want you to put yourself in Samantha's shoes." Rossi said.

Grace closed her eyes reluctantly. "OK, _why?_"

"Well, you're the youngest and you're a girl." Rossi said.

"Fine..." Grace agreed.

"Alright, you're four years old and you're waiting for your mother to pay for gas." Rossi lead her.

"My mother disowned me, this isn't a probable scenario." Grace complained.

Rossi ignored her and continued. "Someone walks into the store. Your mother doesn't notice them, but you do. Why?"

"I don't know!" Grace almost yelled. "The creep's got candy or something."

"Please just co-operate before I lose my patience, Ash."

Grace shut her eyes even tighter and tried to put herself in Samantha's shoes. Surprising herself, Grace saw herself holding the hand of an older woman, her mother she realized upon closer inspection.

"What do you see, Ash?" Grace heard Rossi ask her.

"My mother." Grace replied.

"Alright, do you see anyone else?" he asked.

Grace looked around. The store was full of people dressed in winter clothing. She found this extremely odd considering they were in Florida. "Yeah, there's lots of people."

Rossi began to grow slightly concerned about where this was going. The gas station had been empty save for Samantha and her mother before the abduction. "OK," he said cautiously. "Does anyone stand out?"

"Not, not really." Grace replied. "Wait, what was that? I'm... I'm somewhere else now. She has me."

"Who has you, Ash?" Rossi asked. "Your mother?"

"No, no, no!" Grace screamed. "Dave, help me! Help!"

Rossi took Grace by the shoulders and shook her. "Ash, open your eyes! It's not real, you're safe! Open your eyes!"

Grace opened her eyes and hyperventilating, looked around until she realized where she was.

"Are you alright?" Rossi asked her.

"Uh... yeah, I guess so." Grace lied.

Rossi's phone began to ring. It was Hotch calling them to meet back at the sheriff's department. Rossi gave Grace a minute to get some fresh air and compose herself before they took off in the suburban.

* * *

Grace quickly scanned the parking lot of the sheriff's department from behind her sunglasses. There was not a local cop or a BAU member in sight. Of course, she figured she would be safe when she sneaked out of the building since her and Spencer had been left alone at the station once again to look through old records and follow up on any information Garcia sent to them.

Grace took her cell phone from her pocket and dialled her sister's number.

"Hey, Mace." she greeted her.

"Grace?" Macy answered. "Dude, timezones..."

"Macy, I need a favour." Grace said.

"OK, make it quick." Macy grumbled.

"I need you to think back to when we were kids." Grace pleaded. "Something happened to me at the grocery store when I was three and I need you to help me remember what it was."

"Grace, I know you're not a certified genius like me, but are you completely retarded?" Macy yelled at her sister. "I wouldn't have been more than six months old. How the hell could I remember what happened to you?"

"Macy, please." Grace begged. "I've been having nightmares and flashbacks. I need you to remember."

"You're nuts! Completely fucking nuts!" Macy declared. "Call Charlie." she said with a sigh. "She'll remember."

Grace thanked her sister and ended the call. She then dialled her cousin's phone number without considering for a second the difference in timezones.

"Hey, Charlie, I need your help." she said.

"Grace? Is that you? What's wrong?" Charlotte asked.

"I need you to be completely honest with me, Charlie." Grace said. "Was I abducted when I was three years old."

"What are you talking about, Grace? Aren't you on a case? Your team needs you, don't do this."

"Charlotte! Tell me! I need to know. These nightmares are driving me crazy. Please."

Charlotte sighed. She did not want to tell her cousin the terrible truth, but there did not seem to be any way around it now. "Yes, Grace, you were abducted when you were three."

* * *

**A/N: And so part of the mystery is unveiled. Dun dun dun!**

**Sorry it took so long to update. School and work and tattoos and graduation and people hating on this story hardcore and what not. You know, the usual excuses.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it. Well, the true fans anyway. In the words of Nicki Minaj, "Haters, you can kill yourselves." cuz honestly, I just don't care what you have to say, get a life. I do, however care about what the loyal fans have to say, so review, review, review please!**


	11. Letter to readers

Well hello there dear readers,

As you all have probably noticed, the Threshold series and Gaze Back Into You have been on hiatus since May and I've been working on a new story in the Supernatural fandom (which is also now on hiatus). I want to apologize for the lack of posts. This summer I was all "Yeah, I'm gonna update every day!" then my summer got pretty crazy and stressful and then I moved and started university which has been a major time-suck.

Words cannot express how truly sorry I am for keeping all my loyal readers waiting and I hope that you're all still loyal because the Threshold series and Gaze Back Into You are coming back! That's right! I've never stopped thinking about my stories since I went on hiatus and I realized what my problem was – I've been spending too much time thinking of things that are much too far ahead and not on the present situations I've gotten my characters into. My goal for the next month is to update each of my stories at least twice. With that being said, I am currently working on Chapter 11 of The Truly Natural Things and hope to have it published by Sunday night or Monday morning. A new chapter of Gaze Back Into You will be coming soon as well, but I have not yet set a deadline for myself and I have to prioritize with all my upcoming exams.

Thank you all for staying with me through this journey in the last year. University has really changed me (especially my writing) and I'm really hopeful for the future. If y'all are interested, you can check out the other projects I have started such as my new fanfiction in the Supernatural fandom, Down The Road and my new blog, .com.

Down The Road is the story of a young psychic woman named Alexa Zeppelin who is running from her mysterious past and fighting other people's demons instead of her own. She meets the Winchester brothers and soon the walls she has worked so hard to build up are torn down by the person she least expected. Join this trio on an adventure that includes love, demon hunting, classic rock, classic cars, moving on, and letting go.

My new blog, UnintentionallyAuthentic is an eclectic mix of everything I love. From writing to art to beauty to humour, UnintentionallyAuthentic has a little something for everyone. Follow me on Wordpress, especially if you have experience with the site and can lend a hand as I get my blog started.

Once again, thank you all for sticking around through all of this. I can't wait to publish some new chapters and hear from you all again soon.

Happy Holidays,

ceegeeayy


	12. Chapter 11

_Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any characters. Grace is mine though._

**A life-long blessing for children is to fill them with warm memories of times together. Happy memories become treasures in the heart to pull out on the tough days of adulthood. **  
** -Charlotte Davis Kasl**

* * *

"Yes, Grace, you were abducted when you were three." Charlotte's voice echoed in Grace's ears.

"What happened?" Grace asked after what felt like an eternity.

Charlotte sighed. She had hoped Grace would not want to know the details, but she should have known better. "Aunt Vera took you and Mace to the grocery store and she lost you."

"Lost me?" Grace repeated. "Charlotte, would you ever 'lose' Violet? Never mind, you love her, bad example."

"She thought you'd just wandered off." Charlotte admitted. "Apparently she was a little more preoccupied with your sister. Once she realized you hadn't just wandered off, it was too late."

Grace was paralysed in a state of shock. "How did I get back?"

"Two weeks later they found you in the parking lot of the same grocery store you were abducted in. The abductor-"

"Let me guess, some coked-out, redheaded bitch, right?" Grace interrupted.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"Lucky guess." Grace replied bitterly. "So did they ever catch her? Why did she take me?"

"She served four years." Charlotte replied. "She was pretty fucked up, but the cops think she took you because for some reason she just wanted a kid. She brought you back when she realized she couldn't take care of you, thank God. No one told you because we were hoping you could repress it and never be affected."

Grace took a deep breath and tried to take all this new, life-shattering information in. She had no idea what to do to herself. How could she have repressed this memory for almost twenty-three years? She felt like a revelation of this proportion should have changed and defined her entire life, but she felt no different, she just felt numb. It was done and over with, she had gone unharmed, why did it matter now?

"Listen, Grace," Charlotte interrupted her cousin's silence, "If you want information, your parents had a storage locker. Chances are there's papers in there that could tell you more than I can. Your mother has the key."

"M-my mother?" Grace choked.

Charlotte sighed as if in pity for her cousin's situation. "I know how you feel, but you could just tell her you know and you want to see the pictures."

"Or I could lie and tell her I want some of Dad's things." Grace said, "Or even better, I could just get Macy to get it for me."

"Grace, I love you, but you need to grow up." Charlotte said bluntly, "What your mother did to you was horrible, but you're almost twenty-six, you need to let go of the pissed off teenager thing."

"Grace? What are you doing out here?" Grace heard Spencer call out behind her.

"I've gotta go, Charlie." Grace cut her cousin off mid-lecture. "I'll call later, tell Dan and Violet I say hi." She quickly ended the call and spun around to face Spencer.

"Charlotte called?" he asked.

Grace nodded in reply.

"Are you alright, Grace?" Spencer asked. "You look..." His voluminous vocabulary failed him as he tried to find a word to describe how Grace looked right now. She did not look upset like he had almost said, in fact, she looked rather blank.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Grace lied, her voice quivering.

Spencer reached out and placed his fingers under Grace's chin, lifting her face up to look him in the eye. Grace began to blink rapidly as she looked into Spencer's beautiful brown eyes, ashamed that she had lied to him.

"I don't want to talk about it right now, Spencer." Grace said weakly.

Spencer took his hand from Grace's chin and placed it on her hip, pulling her closely to him. Grace raised her arms in front of her chest as he embraced her and shook her head.

"I can't talk about it right now because I don't even know how to say it." Grace said. "I don't even know how to feel. The last thing you need with your headaches is more of my crazy drama, Spencer, I'm not dragging you into this. We have a missing girl to find now and I don't even want to think about any of my issues until we find her. When this case is over, I'm going back to Ottawa to see Macy and I have to go alone."

"Is she alright?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, Macy's fine."

"Are _we_ alright?"

Grace fought back tears as Spencer mentioned what was probably the only thing that could evoke an emotional response in her at the moment. Their relationship had become so rocky with his headaches and her depression and addictions and they both feared the worst.

"What's going on right now has nothing to do with our relationship, Spencer, I can promise you that." Grace assured him, "I'm not going to lie, I'm worried about us, but I'm going to fight as hard as I can for you, for us. This is something that I need to do on my own. I'll tell you about it when I can come to terms with it. I'm just confused right now and I don't know how to feel."

Spencer nodded and kissed the top of Grace's head. He was relieved that she was not relapsing as he had feared, the reason he had gotten so worried when he realized Grace had slipped out the door and into the alley. He was worried about whatever was going on with her, but the way she was handling it calmed him. Grace was never this calm about anything, this had to be a sign that therapy was working. Whatever it was that Grace would not tell him, he'd be there the second she needed him.

Grace breathed in the warm, familiar scent of Spencer's shirt as they held their embrace. She knew he was probably freaking out inside his genius brain right now, but she was thankful that she had him here. If it wasn't for the strength he gave her, she doubted that she would even attempt to handle this bombshell on her own.

Grace and Spencer's cell phones both rang simultaneously, interrupting their moment together. Both received texts from Hotch with a location to meet with the team as soon as possible.

* * *

"He's taken another girl." Hotch informed the team as they all stood at a new crime scene in the parking lot of another gas station.

"What about Samantha?" Prentiss asked. "They haven't found a body, he can't get far with two girls, can he?"

Prentiss realized the answer to her question before she had even finished speaking. The team all looked at eachother, all knowing the horrible answer that no one wanted to saw. Samantha's remains were probably being digested by an alligator as they stood there.

"How does this sick bastard keep getting kids?" Morgan asked, frustrated. "You'd think people would be keep a better eye on their kids, knowing there's an offender like this out there."

"Not to mention he's going through them faster each time." Dave added.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Grace spoke up. "Morgan, what you just said about people not keep an eye on their kids?"

"Yeah?"

"What if that's part of the profile?" Grace suggested enthusiastically.

The team looked at her intently now, waiting for her to elaborate.

"None of the parents really noticed their kids get grabbed, they were paying attention to other things." Grace continued. "He's taking kids from neglectful parents as some kind of punishment."

"Good theory." Hotch said. "But why?"

"Maybe he lost his own child to Child Protective Services?" JJ suggested.

"We have seen this before." Morgan added, referring to their case in Las Vegas where a mother was abducting young boys to replace the infant that had been taken from her.

"But why is he feeding them to alligators?" Prentiss speculated.

"That's not a typical act of remorse." Dave said.

The team paused to think, ready to dismiss Grace's hypothesis when Spencer spoke up.

"Shame." he said. "He doesn't feel remorse for what he's done, at least not enough to overpower the shame he feels that he's let another child die. He's so self-absorbed that he cares more about what will happen to him than what he's done to the girls so he disposes of the bodies in a way that will destroy all the evidence that he failed to take care of the child."

The profilers took a moment to consider this theory. It seemed plausible to them and it was more than what they had on the unsub so far.

"Someone call Garcia and get her to look up single fathers in the Keys who have had daughters around the age of four taken by CPS in the last year." Hotch ordered and walked off to discuss their theory with the sheriff.

"Hey, Baby Girl," Morgan spoke into his cell phone, "I need you to work some magic for me."

"So, uh... just out of curiosity," Spencer said, placing his hand on the small of Grace's back, "Where did that hypothesis come from?"

Grace shrugged. "Just a guess." she replied, "Where did that bit about shame come from?"

"Did you ever break something when you were a kid and didn't want your parents to find out?" Spencer asked.

Grace nodded.

"What did you do?"

"I hid the pieces of the vase under the sofa."

"You hid the evidence because you were ashamed of what you did." Spencer concluded.

Grace smiled. "Nice work, genius."

"We've got a list of names." Morgan interrupted. "You guys wanna check em out?"

"The chance to bust some child abusing creep?" Grace clarified. "Damn right I do."

Spencer shot Morgan a look that would hold him responsible if Grace were to lose control and actually kill anyone on their list and followed Grace to the vehicle they had arrived at the crime scene in.

* * *

"Spencer, what the hell?" Grace said as they left the home of the fifth suspect on their list, "You look like you're more upset than I am. That never happens."

"I just can't believe these people!" Spencer exclaimed. "They get one child taken away from neglect, so they just have more? Why? Who lets that happen?"

Grace sighed as she shifted the SUV into drive.

"Why aren't you upset about this?" Spencer asked, growing more concerned for Grace's mental state.

"I am." Grace said flatly. "I just can't even express how awful it makes me feel. I'd have a nervous breakdown-"

"Major depressive episode." Spencer corrected her.

"I'd have a _major depressive episode_." Grace said, rolling her eyes. "I'd never come back from it, Spencer." she added feebly.

"I'm sorry, Grace." Spencer apologized, "I should have-"

"No, it's fine." Grace said. "It's not just about what happened to me, I've seen worse things done to other kids. Much worse."

Spencer nodded, knowing that they saw things in this job that no normal human being would ever want to see. Sometimes it was best to make yourself numb to it than to lose your mind over it. What got them through the day was knowing that they could stop some of the freaks out there and save a couple of lives.

"We've got two more to do," Grace reminded Spencer, "And I doubt we'll have any luck. Something doesn't seem right about the way we're approaching this."

Spencer nodded.

"Hold on..." Grace said, gripping the steering wheel tighter as she gathered her thoughts. "If he's disposing of these girls' bodies, who's to say he didn't do the same to his daughter?"

"He's reenacting her death." Spencer speculated, "The guilt just keeps making him try to redeem himself over and over."

"How are we going to find him now if he's just disposed of his daughter's body?" Grace sighed in frustration. "There'd be no death record."

"We could check out people who fit the profile who've been visited by Child Protective Services?" Spencer suggested.

"That leaves us with a bigger list than we have now." Grace said. "Wait! If CPS had visited, they'd notice she was gone. How would he explain that?"

"Missing persons report." Spencer concluded. "I'll call Garcia."

* * *

"Dwayne Connors." Garcia said when she returned the call to Grace and Spencer. "Numerous drug and assault convictions, girlfriend died a year and a half ago from a meth overdose. He was left with custody of their 4-year-old daughter Hannah. CPS visited them fifteen times in the ten months he had her. He reported her missing eight months ago. She was never found."

"Address?" Grace asked, listening as Spencer had Garcia on speaker phone.

"Sending coordinates to your GPS as we speak." Garcia replied. "I'm contacting the rest of the team too.

"Thanks, Pen, you're amazing!" Grace said as they ended the call.

* * *

"Hotch, can I talk to you?" Grace asked as the BAU cleared out of the Monroe County Police Department.

"Right now?" The team was currently heading out to bust Connors and save Samantha.

Grace nodded. "Don't send me in there." she said bluntly.

"Why not?" Hotch asked. "I thought you wanted a shot at this guy."

"I do." Grace replied. "I'm just afraid that I'll slip up and do something wrong. I've caused us enough trouble. I don't want the team to have to cover for me every time I mess up."

"Alright. You can standby as backup." Hotch agreed.

"Thank you."

The two agents got into separate vehicles and Grace wished she could have given Hotch more of an explanation. Grace was not doubting her ability in the field. She had screwed up before, acting on impulses that could have gotten victims or her team killed. This time she saw it coming. This was more than an impulse, Grace _knew_ she would throw all the rules out the door and rip this scumbag apart when she saw him.

* * *

"Clear!" Morgan yelled. "Hotch, the house is empty!"

"Same with all the outbuildings." Hotch confirmed.

Prentiss entered the empty room of Connors' house that the rest of the team stood in. "We have evidence Samantha was here though." she said, holding up Samantha's shoe that she had found in another room.

The team and the local police quickly cleared out of the house.

"His vehicle is here." Reid noted. "He couldn't have gotten very far, not with a child."

"This property touches the swamp." the local sheriff informed the team.

The agents all exchanged worried glances and began to run towards the swamp.

"Wait, where's Grace?" Prentiss asked.

Grace, who had been waiting in one of the SUVs and should have joined the team when they discovered the house was clear was nowhere to be seen.

"Give her to me, Connors!" the agents heard a voice yell in the distance.

Instantly they ran to the source of the noise and found Grace with her gun pointed at Dwayne Connors who was standing on the bank, holding Samantha above the murky water where several alligators waited below.

"She doesn't have to die!" Grace yelled.

Hotch stepped forward to take over the negotiation for Grace, knowing she was not trained well enough to negotiate with an unsub and could be risking the victim's life. Morgan pushed him back though, giving him a look that told him to wait and see how Grace did before intervening.

"Yes, she does!" Connors yelled back, distraught. "I failed! I couldn't keep her alive!"

"Dwayne, look at her, she's still alive." Grace reasoned. "You haven't failed. What happened to your daughter, you don't have to be ashamed. You can redeem yourself if you give Samantha to me. She doesn't have to die, Dwayne."

Dwayne Connors was silent. The distraught expression on his face melted into an expression of near calmness, his red face paled and his breathing slowed. Grace watched as he slowly released his young hostage. She kept her gun on Connors as Samantha ran to her. Prentiss stepped forward and took the girl while Morgan stepped in front of her and aimed his own gun at Connors.

Slowly Connors began to turn around, the expression of utter calm remaining on his face. The agents of the BAU began to shout things at him, but he did not hear them. Connors looked skyward then dove into the water.

Morgan dashed to the edge of the bank and began to shoot at the alligators in the water. His teammates soon followed. Grace did not though. Grace turned around and fell to her knees. She did not cry, she did not know if she should. She did not know what to feel except relief that they had saved the missing girl, that was all that mattered right now.

Grace had no idea how long time had passed when Prentiss helped her up and lead her back through Connor's property to the SUV. Behind them was the rest of the BAU, the local police and a couple EMTs with Connors on a stretcher. Grace did not look to see if he was dead or alive.

* * *

"They say he's going to make it." Spencer said, taking a seat beside Grace as she waited for her flight.

"Good." Grace smirked. "I hope his cellmate finds out he's a child killer. I give him a week."

Spencer bit his lip and looked at his girlfriend. Whatever was going on with Grace she still had not told him. He began to fear once again that Grace would relapse. They had disposed of the heroine Grace had gotten back at her sister's apartment, but Spencer knew that she could easily find more if she wanted to. In fact, Grace would probably run into an old friend who still used.

"I'm going to see my mother." Grace said, filling the silence and answered Spencer's unspoken question. "I don't want you to worry about me."

"You know I will." Spencer couldn't help but grin as he wrapped his arm around Grace's bare shoulders and kissed her cheek.

Grace smiled and kissed Spencer back.

"If you need me, just call. I'll be on the soonest flight." he promised. "Why are you going to see your mother anyway?"

"I have something I need to ask her." Grace answered vaguely.

"Grace, don't hurt yourself like this."

Grace shook her head. "It's not like that. I really need an answer. I wish I could tell you, but I can't right now."

Spencer sighed and held her close. He wanted nothing more than to keep Grace with him, or at least go with her in case she needed him. There was no changing Grace's mind when it was set on something though. He would be calling Macy and Ty constantly to check on Grace.

Grace's flight began boarding and she stood up reluctantly. Spencer stood as well and held her in his arms for as long as he possibly could. They kissed passionately, neither of them wanting to separate.

"Goodbye, Grace." Spencer said. "I love you."

"I love you too, Spence." Grace said, not wanting him to let her go. "I'll call you when I land."

The couple waved goodbye and Grace ran to catch her plane. She trembled in fear as the plane took off. She was afraid of confronting her mother, but she knew it had to be done. Maybe if she unravelled this mystery of her past her future would look brighter.

* * *

**A/N: There you go, an update! Sorry it wasn't on time, it's been a rough week of problem drinking, partying, studying, finals, hospital trips and spending time with my insane housemates before going home for Christmas.**

**I won't be online for a few days because I will be staying with my grandmother so I would love to see some reviews when I get back online.**

**Thanks for reading! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays (if I don't publish a new chapter before then).**

**-ceegeeayy**


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